Does this sound like Depression to you?

[Dustysparrow]

Symptoms:

Feelings of disconnection from family and home / loss of interest in loved ones and house

Loss of apetite

Weight loss

Self loathing

Sleep problems

Early waking

Anxiety related diarrhoea

General mood very low

Extreme tiredness

This is my DH I am talking about here. He thinks he doesn't have depression, I however think he might. He won't go to the doctors for this reason, and won't entertain the idea of antidepressants (his mum used to be on them and he loathes her, doesn't want to follow in her footsteps). Our marriage is really suffering. And as I have no experience of this myself I don't know if I'm correct in thinking he may have depression and perservering with persuading him to get to the doctors?

Hello
Yes, I would certainly say it isn't normal to feel that way, and sounds like depression symptoms, but could also be he is running low on some sort of vitamin or something?
Can you get him to go talk to the doctors by saying it could be a deficiency in some sort of vitamin or thyroid issues and to have tests? Then the doctor may bring up depression.

It could be depression or to me it sounds like anxiety due to a specific situation. (Not a HCP obviously, just how I react) Could there be something specific on his mind?

I think it was triggered by some issues we were having with our DD sleeping at night - he doesn't cope well with sleep related problems and it went on for about 8 months, she is only just turning a corner in the last month. In a nutshell she wouldn't sleep without me in her room, had meltdowns, night terrors, would end up sleeping in with me sometimes while DH stalked off to the spare room, and it was incredibly stressful, lots of tears and upset. My DH just couldn't handle it at all, so I definitely think this triggered something in him. His family have history of depression btw, not just his mum. So even though DD is doing really well at bedtime now it seems like the damage is done in my DHs mind - he no longer sees home and family as a happy place he us glad to get back to after work. He can't see the joy in anything anymore, he is really stuck in a horrible place and cannot get out of it.

You're being very patient over what sounds like pretty bad behaviour actually. You're the one up with the child. The child is the one suffering night terrors. He is the one sulking in the (quiet) spare room and now being miserable because it wasn't perfect and he was a bit tired for 8 months. I'm not trying to dismiss it, it could be depression but it could also be Sulky Bugger Syndrome

I have to be the patient one because he and our DD are so highly strung, I kind of have to keep leading them back to the path of calmness and rationality (there is always one of the over-reacting about something or other). I must admit I have moments where I want to scream at him to get a grip but I know it won't help.

It sounds very much like depression. And acknowledging it won't make him any more like the mother he loathes than pretending it isn't there. No two depressives are the same. I sympathise with him on the trigger. Sleep deprivation can severely deplete depressives of normal serotonin levels and the resulting mood dip is uncontrollable. But he does need to listen to you and get a medical opinion on his symptoms. They could be caused by some medical condition but they aren't signs of a man in good health, either way.

Yes, I think the sleep problems and anxiety related toilet issues are reason in themselves to go to the doctor. He is incredibly busy and has a very stressful job but he could find the time if he really wanted to.

The symptoms all point to depressions yes, although it could be another mental illness (lots of the symptoms cross over to other illnesses and that's one of the reasons a mental illness takes years to diagnose properly)

Talk to him and ask him to see the GP, they will most likely refer him to counselling and maybe offer anti-depressants x

Yes it does. It really messes with your head when you come from a family history with depression and you have thought you have avoided it and it comes knocking anyway. I have experienced it this year and it has taken me an incredibly long time to acknowledge that I am depressed too. But that all happened for me at the expense of several things in my life (including my job) so if he can get to the gp now and perhaps start counselling and/or antidepressants maybe he would have a better chance of not falling down the hole. That early morning waking is absolutely brutal, the medication has really helped with that so it has been worth it for that alone.