Feeling like a failure and isolated

[SophieMayTay]

My little boy is 5 months old and he is my first. Iv been doing alright up until now. I'm struggling with his cries and grumpy days. I just wanna lock myself away and hide. But obviously I can't do that.
His cries have never bothered me before.. but just recently I'm struggling to keep a cool head. I don't get angry, just stressed.. but I feel the stress building up with every minute. Luckily my partner finishes work around 1pm and does help me with him.. my cousin has had a baby and her baby is just a few weeks younger than my boy. And she seems to be doing perfect... she's happy and always upbeat.. and then there's me.. tired, emotional, upset and fed up. This makes me feel like I'm failing as a mum to my boy. I'm totally stuck in a rut at the moment.
I take medication for my depression. But I just seem to have hit a rough patch.
I'm jealous of people who don't suffer with mental health.

Go back to the doctor . You sound depressed. Babies are really hard work. You are not failing. Don't compare with others , concentrate on getting well again.

You're not failing at all my dear, you are just stuck in a rut of comparison. And in that case, please remember there are millions of mums with babies out there, most are sleep deprived, are just trying to get through the day, and nobody is doing it perfectly because there is no perfect. We can only do the best we can do, and that is enough. Does it help to go out for a walk with him? Or could you go out for a walk when your partner gets home? It is really tricky when they are little and you feel tired and stressed, but just go easy on yourself. You are doing ok.

Let your GP and HV know how you are feeling. There maybe something else they can offer such as tweeking your meds. Are you under a mental health team for specialist support? That might be something else to ask about.

Definitely speak to your doctor. Every parent is falling apart in one way or another, some people just hide it better. You said when your son plays up you WANT to hide away, but you put him first and you get on with it. You should be so proud of that!