Another "is this depression?" thread - can't even manage an original problem!

[Tigana]

Have been feeling low since end November last year really, on and off. Tired, stressed, grumpy, no libido to speak of, feel useless, totally out of touch with my sense of self, don't really enjoy anything much.
Last week or so seem to be a bad patch, crying and feeling like crap mum as I have to work FT and ds rarely says 'mummy' but knows the name of 'his' nursery person. DS is nearly 20mo.
Am on auto-pilot most of the time.
DH works, a lot, now has lap top so he can work at home, and so on the evenings when he isn't out working, he is in working IYKWIM.

mope mope mope

mope??

Do you have any friends close by that you could go out with to cheer you up?

Have you got a few days off this weekend where you can spend lots of time playing with ds and making lots of special moments and memories? My ds is 19 months and I find by Friday eve when I finish work he's in a bit of a 'baby strop' with me for not being around. Then by 10am Saturday morning, lots of attention cuddles and playing, he's shouting mummy constantly and I'm telling him to shout dad instead!!

Do you think this is at a stage where you may need to see a doctor for tablets and/or counselling. Just to get you through this really difficult time.

Sorry, I'm no expert at all but just didn't want to leave your post unanswered

xx

i'm sorry you are feeling low. Did anything happen to trigger this off or has it slowly crept up on you? Maybe taking some time off and spending it with ds might help. If it doesn't a trip to the doctors may be the best way to see what treatment options are availible. Don't suffer in silience. . HTH

Very few friends...maybe one locally...she also works FT...and she is my only babysitting option, apart from dh who works alot of evenings and nights anyway, so...

Don't think there was a trigger, more a creeping up.

Last night couldn't even remember how it felt before ds was born, when I was conscious of being really happy and content...

Your poor thing i feel for you. I think that you are depressed and need to get seen by a doctor. You could also try your health visitor for a chat. Maybe they have a PND group you could go to in your area. It was a godsend with my first baby. xx

Have you spoken to DH about the way you are feeling? Perhaps he could change the way he works to get you through this difficult period or until you get some professional help?

Haven't seen HV since ds was about 9mo I think.
Have tried to let dh know, but so rarely have time to exchange more than a few words...will try again tonight.

Don't want to be depressed, my little sis is on anti-d's and anti-anxiety pills, my mum was depressed too, my dad is like bloody Eeyore...FGS

Depression does have a hereditary link and can run in families. It is an illness just like any other physical problem and is nothing to be ashamed of. You can and will get better in time with the appropriate treatment/therapy. Talk to you DH - maybe ask him to go to the doctor with you. With time you will feel your normal self again [smile}.

Do you have to work full time?
You definitely sound depressed, have you thought about going to your gp?

I think you should go to your GP.
They can refer you to counselling etc that may be able to help you.
Medication may also be an option as well.

Have to work full time as I am the one with the permanent salary that is used to pay mortgage. DH is self employed so income fluctuates. Most months it would be fine if I reduced to maybe 4 days a week, but every so often we'd be buggared, plus banks etc would panic!!

Think I worked out ontuesday this week that maybe it was actually "depression" not just general crapness, so am thinking about seeing GP. Just hate the fact that I am following in family footsteps!

You sound just like me. I went to see a counsellor last week for the first time. It sort of crept up on me and my DH has gone from having a reasonable amount of free time to working constantly. Every evening he will at best check his work emails and at worst, be confined to the study to work for another couple of hours. He works away a lot too. And sod's law would have it that every time I try to organise some me time, his work gets in the way. Have tried to talk to him about it but I don't think it shrinks in with him.

I too don't want to be depressed and neither my doctor nor my health visitor was very supportive hence the reason I went to a private counsellor. I've also just started taking St John's Wart too.

Big hugs. Having people to talk to really helps

it runs in my family as well. Was on AD's before 1st baby had PND after she was born and felt depressed when ds was born. I was on AD's for about a year but got through without meds after the DC were born. Just because you are feeling depressed now definately does not mean you are going to feel the same way forever. Espeacially if you get some therapy to help determine what triggers your low mood off and ways that you can turn it around. I hope the mention of the family connection did not make you feel worse. It was not designed to !

voluptua - yep, DH "pops upstairs" to "check his emails" and vanishes until midnight. He is working...but I feel somewhat abandoned.

hebetalbot - don't worry, already aware of hereditary nature of depression......had been hoping I wouldn't be affected though...some chance!