It's like Meta anxiety. I obsess over whether I am anxious or just a broken person. I get anxious that I will always feel this way. If I do something that quells my anxiety I then obsess over whether it is a "healthy" coping mechanism or not. If I reach out to friends I feel bad. I only feel calm if I am research ways to combat anxiety but never do them.
This is probably the third time this year this has happened but the problem this time is that I am abroad and alone and not home again for 2 weeks. I am looking after someone's house and dog and working full time from here.
Can anyone relate to being anxious about being anxious? I don't really have any specific anxieties - I can be alone, be social, go out, do scary stuff....anxiety doesn't stop me doing anything (apart from feeling normal)....and I appear outwardly calm and totally functional, when in reality it feels unbearable.
I stopped taking medication around 6 months ago and had been fine till I got here and everything stopped.
Not really sure what I am asking - just want to know I am not alone.
I have real life support, but few friends who really "get" it.