My mum keeps calling me fat 😔

[SpongeCake23]

Hi,

I suffer with mental health issues, specifically generalised anxiety disorder and occasional depression.

I do comfort eat and over the last three years (since I moved out on my own) I've probably put on quite a bit of weight. I'm a size 18 now. Previously I was a size 14/16.
My parents were always very controlling about food when we were growing up.

I live in Yorkshire now and my parents still live in Essex. When I go back to visit, they always bring up my weight without fail (occasionally my mother ends up in tears which I think is pathetic) I have a fairly active job (I'm a support assistant in a primary school, with some very challenging pupils), I recently completed a mostly uphill 9.5 mile walk on the moorland near to where we live.
I do like my food a little too much - I indulge on cake and chocolate. Also crisps and bread are a big downfall of mine.

Each and every time I speak to my mum on the phone, she obsessively asks me about my 'diet' or brings up food/asks me what I'm eating.
When I do go back to visit, she'll make the evening meal as a 'favour' and then gives me the smallest portion ever. If I go into the fridge at their house, they'll immediately ask me what I'm doing and basically tell me no, I can't have it!!! I'm 28 years old! It's bizzare. They've done this in front of my partner a few times and it's so embarrassing. He thinks it's a joke! When we've been at his parents' he just goes to help himself to whatever out of the fridge/cupboard and never is anything mentioned about what he's eating.

Both of them (my mum especially) have an unhealthy obsession with my weight, it makes me feel so sad, as I don't get to see them often and when I do it ruins everything.
And the same when I talk to her on the phone, it would be nice to have an enjoyable chat, but it always ends up in the same way: bringing up my weight or food, me getting annoyed and cutting the conversation short on a negative note as I can't stand it.
I know they love me, care for me and want the best for me. They're just going the wrong way about it.

I really don't know what to do anymore

Don't engage with her. Tell her it's not a topic you wish to discuss with her and change the subject. Rinse and repeat as necessary. You'll have to be firm as your parents obviously think it's an area of your life they have a say over.

And next time you go to their house take your own food and be Brad Pitt in oceans 11 - never without a snack - and they don't know where you're getting it from. It'll drive them mad.

Are your parents toxic in other ways? My mum used to make horrible comments about me being overweight when in fact I was at a perfect weight and size for my height. Only through counselling did I realise that she probably has borderline personality disorder. I had to put my own boundaries in place to stop her from having such a negative influence on m life.