Fear of Death

[user1489262722]

My 19 year old son has suddenly developed a fear of death in that he is struggling to cope with the idea that one day he will no longer exist. He is crying a lot and struggling to cope. Has anyone else come across this and does it resolve itself?

To be honest i struggle with this a lot and i am 30. it can come and go in stages. There is a lot of self help you can google to help you cope with the idea that i look up every now and then xx

Perhaps have a google for intrusive thoughts? I get these when depressed. Sorry to hear your son is struggling.

He really needs help. DH went through this and took a long time to resolve...

Has he seen GP?

I get this too and I'm late twenties. I think though I struggle more with the concept that one day my parents, siblings, DP may cease to exist before me. Sometimes I get absolutely terrified and upset about it. If you figure out how to resolve it I'd love to know! I really hope your son gets better, it's a really tough thing to deal with.

I believe it gets easier with age. I remember having seen this poem by someone, not the words exactly, but it went something like this: "When you are young, death looks like - a bottomless and deep abyss. - The older you become, the shallower it seems - until finally it looks just like - a little depression, nice for taking a nap in."
I found it helps to read history books about or by people who lived in the past, it sets things into perspective.

I was like this until my brother died - oddly it removed the anxiety. Perhaps because I have survived the bereavement? I don't think I cried a lot about death in general like your son, OP. That might be the more revealing thing - it sounds like classic depression.

I found Staring at the sun by Irvin Yalom quite helpful for coming to terms with my mortality after an incurable cancer diagnosis. I felt quite panicky when I first started reading it. But it is quite a soothing book, and reassuring to feel less alone in those fears.

I have this also. I can't think or type about it without my anxiety peaking. It's horrendous and consuming.

Is your DS comfortable with seeing his GP about this? He will be able to explore further, but in a safe/controlled environment.

I was talking about this issue with someone and we came to the conclusion that most people have this fear and that it comes in waves.

I wish that was the case with me Maud.

It's been years and no sign of it going anywhere. ridiculous, I know, but I'm actually feeling sick and my chest has tightened just coming back here

Hi op

My ds started this fear round about the age of 7, it was seeing something on the news at tea time and. A certain cartoons.

It quickly developed from there and started to become a real problem, he eventually grew out of it, but it raises its head now and again . it usually comes back because it's masking another worry, say exams or changes.

Has anything happened recently ? Death in the family, relationships work exams etc?

I used to get this and had it very badly when I was a child (to the extent that I developed some quite tricky behaviours).

What helped: when I was younger, realising it was a long way off - so in the short term, he can try focusing on that; when I was older, a near death experience, which made me realise I wouldn't be conscious of dying - that realisation might not help your son because I suspect the 'germ' of the fear of death probably varies in individuals.

If this is impacting on his life (and it did with me, I developed some really limiting behaviours to cope,) I think it is well worth seeing if your GP can refer him for help. NHS MH services are (sadly) really limited, which is a shame because I suspect that you're posting here because it's becoming inhibiting for him - and that may well require an intervention of some kind.

I had this late teens/early 20s and comes back the odd time but never as bad as back then. Seems to linked into anxiety or stress with me. CBT helped me a lot.

I had his when I had major depression. It went when my mood was treated.