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When will my horrible envy end?

2 replies

kennycat · 04/09/2017 20:03

Sorry I don't really know where to post this so hopefully this is a suitable place...
And apologies as it's quite long.

I think I'm going to out myself as crazy here but I need to say this to someone before I explode.

When will my stupid envy about having a third child just go away?!
Whenever I hear of anyone having a third child I feel like screaming.

I have two da children conceived with the help of clomid. My husband I discussed a third after I got quite broody and he is totally against the idea. I agree with every single one of his arguments but still that yearning is there. I don't know if the fact I'm pretty much infertile without assistance has anything to do with this deep feeling.
I've accepted that it isn't going to happen and am quite enjoying slowly getting rid of the baby paraphernalia etc but there's still some weird feeling there.

When friends are expecting and having third children I almost want to walk away and not be friends with them any more, which I know is horrible. My very good friend who I don't see often has told me that they are trying for a third and I dread seeing her because I know that at one of our catch ups she will tell me she's pregnant and I don't know if my face can hide how I feel.

Even people I don't know make me feel this. Now the lovely Kate Middleton is expecting i can't even bear to look at pictures of her or read the news about her.
Or if I read that someone has three children, even a random person, I feel sad that I don't and won't have three.

I love having two, one of each, one for each hand, etc. I don't know why I'm so hung up about this third idea.

When will this horrible jealous feeling just bugger off? It's eating me up to be honest.

OP posts:
NooNooHead1981 · 05/09/2017 16:59

I can completely relate - I have serious envy over anyone who has a second child, as I had an ectopic back in March this year and had wanted a sibling for my DD for over 5 years. The pain has become quite unbearable at times, and it doesn't help that my brother passed away two weeks ago or that I've recently been out of work.

Sorry I don't have any real advice other than to be grateful for what you've got (I know it's a cliché but it is so true). When I'm feeling down, I think of my friend who had an ectopic and she doesn't even have any children yet... then I focus on my blessings and what I do have .

It is easier said than done but you have my total sympathy. Feel free to PM me if you like. Flowers

kennycat · 05/09/2017 19:03

Thanks for you're reply. It's good to know I'm not alone. So sorry for your loss.
I just need to get stuff in perspective. I know this but yes as you say it is easier said than done!

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