Sorry I don't really know where to post this so hopefully this is a suitable place...
And apologies as it's quite long.
I think I'm going to out myself as crazy here but I need to say this to someone before I explode.
When will my stupid envy about having a third child just go away?!
Whenever I hear of anyone having a third child I feel like screaming.
I have two da children conceived with the help of clomid. My husband I discussed a third after I got quite broody and he is totally against the idea. I agree with every single one of his arguments but still that yearning is there. I don't know if the fact I'm pretty much infertile without assistance has anything to do with this deep feeling.
I've accepted that it isn't going to happen and am quite enjoying slowly getting rid of the baby paraphernalia etc but there's still some weird feeling there.
When friends are expecting and having third children I almost want to walk away and not be friends with them any more, which I know is horrible. My very good friend who I don't see often has told me that they are trying for a third and I dread seeing her because I know that at one of our catch ups she will tell me she's pregnant and I don't know if my face can hide how I feel.
Even people I don't know make me feel this. Now the lovely Kate Middleton is expecting i can't even bear to look at pictures of her or read the news about her.
Or if I read that someone has three children, even a random person, I feel sad that I don't and won't have three.
I love having two, one of each, one for each hand, etc. I don't know why I'm so hung up about this third idea.
When will this horrible jealous feeling just bugger off? It's eating me up to be honest.