anxiety through the roof. dc's off to Cub camp soon.

[megletthesecond]

Tbh I could throw up the closer it gets. They're going camping and I've just found out that the leaders don't have a night watch to make sure all the kids are safe . Silly me assuming an adult would be supervising 24/7.

I was ok with their school residential as they seemed to run a tight ship, a teacher always awake, and it was in secure locked accommodation, but this camping weekend sounds really sloppy.

I daren't pull them out and screw them up but neither do I want to put them at risk. I can't even ask my gp for emergency diazepam while they're away in case I have to drive and pick them up. Somehow I think I have to suck it up and hope nothing happens.

As a cub leader I can assure you that we take looking after the cubs very seriously. In my group we don't stay awake all night. We make sure that the cubs know where we are sleeping in case they need us.
I never sleep well on the first night , I hear every sound! After that I still wake when I hear movement but in all honesty the cubs tend to sleep really well on the second night as they are so tired.
Try not to let your child see how anxious you are as they may be anxious too. Leaders are very good at supporting cubs who are nervous about camp.

My kids have been to lots of cub/scout camps. They are always sharing tents so they have buddies in case anything goes on anyway (which it won't). I never feel worried about their safety as cub/scout leaders are always very safety conscious.

They will come back absolutely filthy and might not have brushed their teeth for a weekend, but they will be safe!

I used to do sleep in overnights for work and can vouch for pp. As a person with designated responsibility the mild stress of looking after someone else's kids/vulnerable people means you have a very fitful sleep, and hear everything. Tents unzipping are very noisy!

Thank you, that helps. I'm tying to bring myself down from the ceiling a bit now.

I'm a leader, any noise and I am awake. They are well looked after and it is so good for them.

Although the leaders don't stay awake all night, they do usually camp within a few metres of the cubs, who are all in large communal tents with half a dozen or so children in them.

The leaders also won't be going to bed at the same time as the cubs - all the bedtime drama (by which I mean extremely loud "whispering", torch floodlights, daring each other to try a loo trip in a giggly-hysterical group of three, etc) of children being out of their usual routine on the first night away at camp takes place whilst the leaders are all still very much awake and sitting around just outside the tents chatting and enjoying some down-time before the next full-on day (and occasionally telling the children to keep it down and go to sleep).
Even the most excited children tend to eventually pass out after about two hours of this, which gives lots of time for leaders to only turn in themselves once the cubs are all finally properly asleep.

If you honestly feel that the camp is sloppily organised then you should keep your DC at home, however much this upsets them.

However, not having a night watch is no indicator of a poorly organised camp. Have an honest chat with yourself. Give yourself permission to remove them from camp if (objectively) it is poorly organised. Ask for opinions from people you trust. Speak to the leaders. Sort out what stems from your general anxiety and what is normal for camp. If you conclude that the problem lies with your anxiety, then you should let them go and be proud of the fact that you did it. If you conclude that the camp is poorly organised, don't let them go and be proud of standing your ground.

Be kind to yourself. It is normal and responsible to want to know how your kids will be looked after. You are in charge here. You don't have to suck it up. However you do have to gather information and reach an objective conclusion that isn't motivated by anxiety.

FWIW I deregistered DS from cub camp as felt he couldn't reliably stick to the rules and that they therefore wouldn't be able to keep him safe. The leaders thought he'd be okay, I wasn't sure.

DD went away this year, slept under the stars and had a whale of a time. I had butterflies the whole time, but she came back ten feet tall and with skyrocketing confidence. For her, the benefits far far outweighed any small risk.

That was longer than expected - sorry OP!

OP, have you ever been camping? You can hear every single sound.

My Dcs went on many, many cub and scout trips. They were very well looked after, with the leaders close by.

Your kids will have a wonderful time, and it will teach them so much.

Oh, and it is normal to be a bit anxious when your kids are away. We all take a while to get used to it.

Take the Diazepam if it helps. If you really were needed, you can get a taxi.

Ive supervised kids on camps before. We sleep beside their tents and you hear every time someone turns over in their sleeping bags. I guarantee I would hear someone getting out of their tent. I would hear someone crying or shouting out. And I would get out of my tent to see what was going on.

Is there anything you are particularly anxious about and I will tell you how we would deal with it? Or is it just a general anxiety about them being away from you?

I've had kids come into the leaders tents to sleep, put their tent right beside mine, given them a torch to flash if they are worried or just need a hug or to see an adult. I've answered phone calls from anxious parents at all hours.
Being responsible for other peoples children is such a huge thing, we honestly don't take it lightly I promise.

I've been awake for an hour because of this . Compared to school trips it's so poorly organised which still doesn't reassure me.

I've found dd crying twice now because she says she'll miss me and doesn't want to go so my instinct is screaming to put an end to it and tell them she's not going. She was fine about her school overnight trip (as was I) as they prepared them for it and she was with lots of friends. But if she doesn't go to cub camp her brother won't want to go (he's fine with school residentials but not excited about cub camp now) and her little friend will be on her own. It's all turning into a mess .

OP can you explain why you think it's poorly organised? How long is the camp? How well do you know the leaders? How many children/leaders will there be?

I think that this is a separate issue from your DD not wanting to go. Is she picking up on your feelings? If she is begging not to go then I wouldn't make her, to be honest. But some very limited tears and nerves might well be normal and the experience could turn out to be hugely beneficial for her confidence in the long run.

You absolutely don't have to send your kids to cub camp. It's okay to degregister them for any reason, even at this stage. But make sure that you're clear in your own mind about why you send or don't send them.

Whatever you choose to do, it will more than likely be absolutely fine

Are they on camp now OP? How is it going?

Update; they called me to pick dd up this morning. She was upset in the night and refused to do anything this morning. Her brother wasn't really enjoying himself either so they're both back home.

Tbh the camp wasn't very well organised, nothing like school residentials that they've enjoyed. DD slept without a sleeping bag because she didn't know where hers was and not brave enough to ask . No adult helped her get it. DS's epi-pens weren't stored as I was led to believe either which was a red light and I'm glad he's home. When I dropped them off last night my gut instinct was to call the whole thing off but I jollied along with it.

We're taking the positives from the last 24hrs as they say in wanky therapist speech.

Yes, I get very anxious but I this wasn't an experience I wanted them to ride out. School residentials are still on but no more cub camps for them.

Sorry that your dc didnt have a good time. We always check that each cub has everything they need and are snuggled down and warm before we go to sleep.
Re medication epipens should be available at all times and every leader needs to know where it is etc.
In your shoes if you are concerned I would contact the Group scout leader to discuss what happened.

Thanks juggling .

The upside is that dd has just voluntarily washed up for the first time ever. So the weekend wasn't a waste.

All's well that ends well meglet. A DD who washes up is certainly worth the stress!

Hope that you come away from this experience feeling more confident about trusting your gut. The epi pen is certainly a big red flag and I would have brought my DS home too.

Hopefully you'll all sleep well tonight!

I'm sorry it didn't go well OP. My son's cub camps are always extremely well organised, so it's disappointing that your kids did not benefit from the same level of care. I second pp that you should contact the leader, as what went on is not acceptable. Glad everyone is back safe and sound though.