We are on holiday at the moment, we stay at a place we love, with people we really love. I have a lifelong history of low grade chronic depression, with episodes of full blown depression. Also anxiety, and the general all pervading feeling that I am shit, everything I do is shit, and I never do/say anything right. We try to be really nice and kind to the people we are staying with - we do things for them, we encourage them etc, etc, they are very precious to us. Most of the time I feel ok, but if there is a day where they don't want to talk to us so much etc, I spiral into despair, wondering what I have done wrong etc, have I said the wrong thing, been too much etc. Partner is oblivious to this, but it really, REALLY affects me. I know that it's just me and my huge problems, it's not my hosts, they are just being perfectly normal. It's me, and it's my problem entirely. I know that it's very selfish thinking on my part too. Intellectually I know these things, but it doesn't stop the overwhelming feelings, which leave me just completely floored and wanting to just cry. I know you can't help, but if you have experienced this, or know what is going on, please comment. Thank you. Feel free to shout at me.