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Mental health

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Help, please

5 replies

Justfeelsad · 03/09/2017 09:02

We are on holiday at the moment, we stay at a place we love, with people we really love. I have a lifelong history of low grade chronic depression, with episodes of full blown depression. Also anxiety, and the general all pervading feeling that I am shit, everything I do is shit, and I never do/say anything right. We try to be really nice and kind to the people we are staying with - we do things for them, we encourage them etc, etc, they are very precious to us. Most of the time I feel ok, but if there is a day where they don't want to talk to us so much etc, I spiral into despair, wondering what I have done wrong etc, have I said the wrong thing, been too much etc. Partner is oblivious to this, but it really, REALLY affects me. I know that it's just me and my huge problems, it's not my hosts, they are just being perfectly normal. It's me, and it's my problem entirely. I know that it's very selfish thinking on my part too. Intellectually I know these things, but it doesn't stop the overwhelming feelings, which leave me just completely floored and wanting to just cry. I know you can't help, but if you have experienced this, or know what is going on, please comment. Thank you. Feel free to shout at me.

OP posts:
NolongerAnxiousCarer · 03/09/2017 13:05

Have you discussed this with DP? Could he reassure you? DH often uses me as a sounding board for such worries and we talk things through and examine evidence either way together. It does seem to reassure him if I am not concerned by something that is worrying him.

Justfeelsad · 03/09/2017 14:01

He knows how much I worry, and he is a wonderful husband, and loves me very much, but when I feel like this nothing really reassures me...I always think that he just doesn't pick up on the subtleties of stuff, which is probably doing a good, good man a huge disservice. I can literally go from feeling really happy if I perceive everything to be ok in my relationship to others to utterly miserable if I don't, all in the space of minutes, and back again..all day long. I use perceive very loosely because I know that my perception is toxic and wrong, and it's me that is screwy not anyone else. I am out of control somewhere, and I need help. I'm sitting across from him typing this, and trying not to burst into tears in public. It's horrible.

OP posts:
NolongerAnxiousCarer · 03/09/2017 14:07

Have you had any help with this? Cbt etc? If not your GP would be a good place to start.

Justfeelsad · 03/09/2017 14:10

I had some counselling about 20 years when I had an episode of extreme depression, but nothing since. Sorry for going on. I do appreciate your kindness to reply.

OP posts:
NolongerAnxiousCarer · 03/09/2017 15:27

I've had several lots of councelling over the years and founs it useful to revisit things at different times. I would ask you GP for a referral, cbt might be particularly useful to help you change habitual thinking patterns. In some areas you can self refer to iapt for this.

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