Feel like i can't go on

[PerilousPetunia]

My whole life is a complete mess and I really wish my mother wasn't dead.

Can't stop crying tonight. Not sure what the point of thread is, maybe to not feel invisible.

Perhaps you need to know that people are listening; plenty of people will listen to you here.
Sorry about your mum.

Would you like to talk about your Mum?

I don't even know what to say about her. I think she would be very sad that I've made a mess of my life.

Sorry to hear about your Mum.

The fact that you are posting here is a positive thing as people are hear and will listen

Can we help unravel the mess? It often helps even just talking about it to help reduce the awful helplessness of it all.

I am sorry about your mum. How long ago did she die? My dad died over a year ago and I am finding it tough at the moment. Just missing him lots. Found myself crying too - pants isn't it? I

I can't afford to look after myself independently, and I don't see how i ever will be able. So I can't really have a child, ever. The future looks bare and the only thing there is is maybe I will see my mother again when I die.

Slim chance though eh. I'm crying because that's all I can look forward to and it's probably not real.

thank you all for listening.

Pancakeflipper, I am very sorry that you lost your dad. You're never the same after.

Ta PPetunia - sometimes the grief just comes back and hits you doesn't it?
Have you got family support to lean on or some lovely mates?

Things don't stay constant so don't despair. Things change ( and if you need ideas and kind encouragement there's lots of lovely people here who will help).

Big hugs to you OP, you are grieving and it sucks.

No family I can call about this really.

I know feelings don't stay the same forever, but even when I'm feeling ok I don't seem to get anywhere. It's like I'm marking time and waiting to die.

Maybe I'm too lazy or not trying enough but I don't know what else to do differently.

Oh, love. I'm sorry about your mum. Would you like to tell us about her?

She was amazing. I had complex health needs and she was brilliant, she was so hopeful I'd go on to have a happy and successful life.

She had cancer and I just feel it's so unfair she died at a relatively young age and never got to do all the things she wanted to do.

I'm sorry you're in pain. Sending 💕 to you OP and others who are feeling low

It doesnt sound like you made a mess of your life, and I dont think you've done anything that would disappoint or dishonour her.
It sounds like you are grieving. Its hard when people are taken too young.

If you can, head to church this morning. If you are clinging to the idea of seeing her again (and I believe you will), they may be able to help reinforce this for you. Also, in times of severe hardship, which I think from your other threads you are having, they can provide friendship, compassion and even practical and financial support. I know some may flame me for the suggestion, and I'm not trying to "convert" you but you sound bloody desperate and this could be a good place to start. Don't be proud, Churchies love to help .

Hi PerilousPetunia,

We're really sorry that you're feeling so very low.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. There are lots of organisations listed there which may be able to offer you support right now. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real life help and support as well.

We're going to move this thread over to our Mental Health topic now.

We really hope you're okay.