I regularly get intrusive/ obsessive thoughts about having done something wrong in the past. This then makes me feel like I am A Bad Person, and I keep thinking "if only they knew who I really am"... or "if this comes out I'm fucked". Past thoughts have included that I am an abuser (I had drunk sex), a criminal fraud etc. Currently I am freaking out about a lie I wrote on an official form over 10 years ago. It was to do with my driving licence and I feel like an utter fraud (especially as I wrote the car off not too long ago and we're still dealing with the insurance).
I hate always feeling like I am bad!
I also hate not having more of a handle on my anxiety/ OCD (I recognise that the above are typical OCD intrusion). Every day I decide I am going to be calm and composed and rational, and almost every day the negative thoughts and anxieties creep in. They have an iron grip on me and will make me feel so rotten! I'm 32 and I need to call my dad for reassurance FFS!
I guess it's not helping that DH forgot to take his pills is feeling anxious too today :(
Sorry, just having a pity party here...