Does dd have OCD?

[Nomoreboomandbust]

Hi all, worried about my 18 year old dd. So realised that she has a very long and detailed hand washing routine, always has hand sanitiser with her and her wardrobe is immaculate. None of these things were happening last year.

Also she hasn't had her long term boy friend over or stopped at his. She confided in me she can't bear him touching her, that includes us all too. She flinches. She's still with her bf and they are planning a big trip for 4 months after Christmas.

She's just finished her A levels and did really well after slogging. Uni next year.

She's open and chatty about her feelings but can't seem to bear visitors to the house including her older brother, sil and toddler nephew. She tries really hard to mask this by popping her head round the door to say hello and going out.

She has had counselling for ptsd in the past after a horrific event 6 years ago but seemed fine.

Is this manageable without help? Is ir an anxiety phase? Anyone have OCD? Please help

Seems like she has found another way for her brain to control/cope with that trauma, which she clearly still needs help for.

But she has been absolutlry fine for years though? Do you think then the stress of A levels could have caused the stress to resurface? Or was always there ready to pop up again? Thankyou so much for answering btw.

Possibly but it isn't normal for her to suddenly not want to be near her boyfriend or others.
Something has set it off, maybe it is the stress of exams, but if going to uni that stress will only increase.

Have you spoken to her specifically about it? It's ok to have coping mechanisms but hers seem to be taking over.

Thankyou again. We have talked about it and she has made a doctors appointment for this week but according to her she's going 'about a pain in her side' not sure if that's the case or she's going about her anxiety! I don't want to push her as we are very close so it's tricky.

Unfurtunatiy post her accident I too had anxiety issues so trying to not make this a big scary deal for her but equality don't want to stand back and see her get worse.

She's going to uni but living at home not our choice as all her siblings went away and she hated that and missed them.

Would it be interfering to email the GP for a heads up? Would that b interfering I know they wouldn't discuss with me of course but could I let them know my concerns or wait to see the outcome of her appointment.

She felt counselling didn't help post the trauma

Ok, so it's possible that she has OCD, but the behaviours on their own are not enough to say for sure. OCD is a lot more complex and the key aspects are obsessive intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviours as a way to minimise those thoughts.

So, for example, the thoughts could be "my family are going to die" or even "I am going to brutally kill my entire family" it doesn't mean she's violent or going to hurt you, these thoughts are unconscious and often incredibly frightening.

The behaviours are a way to 'stop' the thoughts or mitigate them "If I do this then I won't kill my family/my family won't die". The thoughts are not always that extreme, but they are always present.

Have you talked to her about why she's developed these routines, you could ask her directly "are you worried something will happen if you don't" or "what worries you about this situation" going from her answers you can figure out a way to help her, or where to go for help.

Anxiety can also present as unusual or repetitive behaviours, but isn't necessarily OCD.

Maybe she could try counselling again (not all equal) or other therapy.
The other issue is that the trauma was from when she was a child and the emotional response afterwards would be very different to an adult. Talking things through now she is older and perhaps more able to evaluate and work through things from a new perspective.

I don't have OCD but when stressed my need to contantly check stuff increases massively. (Front door locked, taps off, chargers unplugged etc). I know why I do it though and am fully aware of needing to calm my brain sometimes.

Thankyou so much for helping.

A lot of her anxiety seems to surround her baby nephew. She's always asking if he's ill and antibacking the house when he leaves. We all had awful stomach bugs last Christmas and dd was very rough for days. She actuality had uncontrollable diarrhoea (sorry) which was awful as she's very fastidious by nature.

You know I think I will bite the bullet and ask her if she is worried about us/her actions as you say. Her dad works in Westminster square and she's always telling him to b careful and do the 'run hide tell' in a terrorist attack. Her own accident involved multiple injuries to her and her friends and a death.

Really take the point that counselling might be more effective now as an adults point of view

Therapy is absolutely not all equal, there are tons of different methods and some will be very helpful, and some almost detrimental for certain people. If she'd like to give it a try, then if you can afford it I'd find a private counsellor who can assess what method works best for her.

Thanks I think I will have a real heart to heart with her today and try and get her to open up as much as she feels able and maybe look at finding a councillor together.

OP, have a look around this website: OCD UK to learn from a reliable source about OCD. The more you can learn about this for yourself and your daughter, the better.

If it is indeed anxiety (with or without OCD) you could also look at Anxiety UK. They can provide therapy for members at a reduced rate. I think for students it's something like £15 a session as opposed to £60+ for private therapy and it can be a good way of beating NHS waiting list times. Lots of good resources and advice there too.

Thankyou will look at those sites. Luckily we can afford private counselling so hopefully we can help her.

I hate to see her so distressed. Thankyou everyone

I have fairly severe OCD brought on by a small incident aged 11. It's a very unsettling age pre/early teens to have trauma and can manifest years later in the most random of ways. I think it sounds fairly like OCD from my point of understanding and after years of cognitive behaviour therapy on and off I can say mine is under control BUT the smallest of events can set mine off. Exams could of started anxiety, thought of being ill, concerns for nephew. It could be all number of things but it is worth giving therapy another try if she is willingness and diagnosed with OCD at some point as t will be completely different to support she received as a child to deal with a trauma if that makes sense

It makes perfect sense thanks so much. Sorry to hear you are suffering but glad it's under your control. I think she will feel better bringing it out into the open. Her friends have remarked about her constant anti bac of her hands and she looks embaressed. Her friends may be able to help if she opens up. They are a very tight group. I think if she talks about it it might seem less scary?

yes, I think you're right about making it less scary for her. Normalise it, let her know it's nothing to be ashamed of and actually lots of people have these kind of thoughts and feelings.

Does she use YouTube at all? I say this as whilst I personally like reading information, I find in my work that lots of younger people prefer watching videos and vlogs for learning stuff. There's lots of videos out there with people talking about their own experiences with these kind of symptoms and it can help some people to know they are not alone.

Definatly will mention that to her and to get on u tube.

Even posting about this has made me less anxious so that's bound to help me help her if you see what I mean.