Am I depressed or just tired

[jasper74]

I have a 5 yr old ds and a 4 yr old dd and a 1 yr old ds and i am expecting number 4 in september. I wanted nothing more than to have big family and yet i have never felt so low my DH thinks i am depressed and keeps telling me so. He is clearly finding me difficult and i am finding our relationship very hard. I feel distant from him and like i only rely on him for help with the kids!
I have no patience with the kids and so feel a terrible parent. I know that lots of mums feel this way I just can't cope right now with the pressure of having to cope!! Any pearls of wisdom? Thank you

NO idea but didn't want you to add "being ignored on MN" to your list of woes

If you suspect that you may be suffering from depression, perhaps it would be a good idea to go and see your GP, if only to talk things through. x

Thank you - thought about doctor but just feel he will say i am tired! and should get more rest - which just isn't going to happen. Anyway I am sure it will all pass and this is just tiredness.

You may be depressed, and not being an expert, I couldn't tell you - your doctor could though.

However, I can tell you that you are tired.

You are bound to be knackered with three kids and pg with number 4. Christ, I felt dead on my feet when pg with number 1!!!

If your dh genuinely wants to help, get him to give you a full day off, where you get up when you want, then do what you want without any children at all (unless you want to watch them playing or say goodnight in true Victorian fashion)

Sorry you're feeling low and I hope things perk up for you soon.

so no pearls of wisdom but thinking of you. hope you feel better soon x

jasper - I'm pg with no. 4 and I have periods of feeling like this too. Tbh I think a lot of it is down to the pregnancy itself - I turn into a different person when I am pregnant (and not for the better!)

The big test is - did you feel like this before you got pregnant? Do you find after the baby is born (say, after ds2 was born) that you feel lots better, despite the broken nights? In that case it could be just pregnancy (which may or may not be ante-natal depression).

HTH.

I've only had one diagnosed bout of depression, ten years ago, but going to the GP (I was forced!) was the best thing I could have done. The questions he asked were soooo relevant to how I felt that I soon realised that it wasn't just me after all. You might want to consider whether you & dh have any views on anti-depressants, though I don't know whether you would be offered any whilst pg. It's an absolute minefield if you ask for people's opinions. All I can say is that they - in my case, Prozac - worked for me, but each person is different and reacts differently to the various ad's available. It's a personal choice and there are other options, such as counselling which may prove enough.

I just spoke to a friend and she has made me feel a bit better much as Miaou said i think maybe i struggle when pregnant. I get so tired and i have no time on my own to rest in the day and i have no patience with the kids for these reasons. Maybe it is ante natal depression - is there such a thing? The problem is that when you wanted to be pregnant and you feel blessed to be you feel terrible when you are not over the moon with life. I also feel people would think that i chose this situation. I am so pleased that god willing we will have the family i have always wanted - maybe i just want it to be too perfect. I feel like i could waffle on all night!!! but i won't thank you for your words and Miaou at least it is good to know we are not alone! Night all.