Iv fucked up and I think social services will take my kids away

[Fuckwhathaveidone]

I ran out of meds a few weeks back. Iv been feeling so much better and then the comedown of not having them made me feel like I didn't want to go through that again so I stayed off them and rode through it.
Iv not been ok though, Iv gotten worse again, I started taking them but they're not back in my system yet. Iv been snappy, hot, crying every day and losing my shit.
Today toddler DD wouldn't listen, wouldn't keep up and I just lost it and walked off.
She's a baby, anything could have happened
I walked a good 200feet off. It's like brain stopped working and I didn't realise how serious it was. Lots of people around so no doubt SS will be involved.
Iv packed a bag and left. I'm a shit mum and they deserve better

I really hope you're all right and they weren't even called. It was just one of those situations where you feel like everyone is probably staring at you and the car pulling up behind me really didn't help but then maybe they were going to ask if I was ok or decided against it? Or maybe they thought I was abducting her and then realised she had a car seat. Or maybe they reported it to the police instead who won't do anything unless a missing child is reported, which it obviously won't be as she's my daughter.
I guess I won't know until they do or don't show up or call me. How long would that take do you think?
My mum is here today so she can have them for the most part. She worked a night so will need some sleep but apart from that she will be around. I just won't take them anywhere because I clearly can't juggle them all right now.
It just makes me mad because I was such a good mum before I got ill. Really laid back and calm but able to be firm and kind at the same time.
Pnd has totally changed my personality, I don't even recognise myself anymore.

Thanks roses but I'm midlands so nowhere near

Twice I've had SS involvement with my boys because of my MH issues. The first time was just a telephone call and they decided there was no issue and closed the case. The second time the SW came to my house and met the boys and then closed the case. And this was after I'd admitted I'd had fleeting thoughts of killing myself and my children.

I'm sorry you had such a rough time of it last time with SS but honestly, they only take children as a last resort, when everything else has failed.

I really doubt anyone would have called SS, they might have thought about it when you left your DC but when you went back that's probably the last anyone thought of it. But I know PND warps your thought processes and makes rational thought impossible.

I hope you have a better day op.

People are generally too.wrapped up in their own lives to notice or report what other parents are doing.
I think though you need someone else there to help with the DC until your meds kick in if you are suffering from serious lapses in judgement.

Fuck shit parents never worry they are shit parents.

I have bi-polar, in the past when I've been struggling my DD's have stopped with my parents till I got sorted or my new meds kicked in.

It's hard juggling poor MH and kids, I'm pleased you've got your mam for some support today.

Thank you again everyone. Today has been much better, Iv not done a lot and my mum had had the kids up until 3 when she went off to have a sleep,