Can some1 pls give me a virtual slap across the chops and state the bleedin obvious, my anxiety has now hit a whole new level but I won't go see my gp, wtf is wrong with me?? 
Have suffered on and off with anxiety since being a teenager and bout 3 months got prescribed some propanol to help, they do to a certain extent but now new symptoms are cropping up, I.e no appetite, eyeballs pinging awake @ 5am, intrusive thoughts, no interest in anything, I am lucky to be due to go on holiday abroad next month and tbh I couldn't give a flying monkeys Arse bout it ( I am usually like a kid with holidays excited for months b4, constantly talking bout it ?? I am scared all the time, the whole world fills me with dread, everything feels like I'm pushing water up hill, even trying to decide what to make for the family meal makes me feel exhausted, my mind is constantly going at full speed, it feels like I have 300 tabs open on s computer,
I have told no one how I am feeling and nor do I want to, I have a lovely DH whom is extremely hard working and currently working over 60 hrs per week and really doesn't need a mental case dw opening the flood gates on him, I also work ft in what some might say is a stressful job ( healthcare, that soooo doesn't help with the health anxiety, I tell ya 
) I have 2 ds, teenagers, one whom is SN, we have no family support both sides have gone NC, there choice not ours, but that's another story, God I sound like a delight don't I,
sorry for the essay but really just need some mumsnetters to say they have or are in my boat and extend a virtual kick up rear end