I'm so tired I could cry - and I don't even have a baby!

[EasterSparklerEgg]

Kids are now 5 and 7 and I'm still shattered.
It's been a really busy day today and I'm shattered. Only reason I'm sitting here is because I'm getting five minutes to myself while I cook my tea (tea? - yes I know it's nearly 10pm!)
I've been up since 7am
Took DDs to school
Worked 9.30am - 2 pm
Picked dds up from school
Home to grab swim bags
Took DDs to swimming lessons
Home to cook tea
Decorated eggs with dds to easter competition
Took them to Rainbows and Brownies easter event
Took mum to view three piece suite
Picked up some chocolates that I'd ordered from a lady
Put DDs to bed
Now warming up oven to cook something quick to eat

Every day just seems to be like this. Always somewhere to go or something to do. Then the housework piles up around me and makes me feel pants. You want to see the stack of washing upstairs and the state of my kitchen.
I work Mon-Thurs 9.30 - 2pm.
There just isn't enough time in the day and I'm tired.

Hugs to you sparkler.
It is a bit like being a hamster on a wheel .
I have day's like that and i just want to shout STOP!
Not much help to you though sorry.
If you want a chat ,feel free.
xx

Thanks
I have a day off work on Friday and instead of using the day while dds are at school to catch on housework or even have a day to rest up, what am I doing? The school are having their easter walk to church and have asked for parent helpers. Yep I've voluntered for that. DDs want me to be there.

Well next opportunity you get do something for yourself sparkler and dont volunteer for anything for a few weeks

Tell you what my perfect life would be right now. A holiday away in the sunshine with dh or some girlfriends for a week - no kids. Just time to relax in the day and party at night. Then come home and find that someone has spring cleaned the whole house, done all the laundry and stocked up the freezer with lovely homemade dinners! And to find my dds standing at the door happy, excited and grateful for everthing they have in life.
Don't want much do I?

Oh it's a bloody treadmill! You have got to make time for yourself somewhere. I am good at giving but not listening to advice

then do it! do you have any things planned for the coming months that you can look forward to, like a holiday? where's dh in all this? could you get a cleaning team in as a one off to get things back on track then you might feel like you can keep on top of things?

I know I must make time for myself. Everyone tells me so as well. But I don't. Guess it's all part of the being a mum and wife territory. DH offers all the help he can but something inside me feels I want to do it all. I know, I'm stoooooopid and I need to let go of stuff.

For a start, stop cooking 2 seperate meals. Eat with your dds, then in the time you would be eating if you don't eat with them, you can do the pots.

have you got a tumble drier? I suggest youi make Friday your housework day and just do maintenance on the other days. Thrash through your washing, do your hoovering and stuff, etc.

If you have a DH, give him a job specifically for him. let him do all the pots, or all the washing.

nothing to do with being a mum and a wife. stop treating yourself as a skivvy, you wouldn't dream of doing it to anyone else.

DH always does the washing up. Fridays is always my main housework day. I work 9.30 til 2pm Monday to Thursday. I get the bus from school in the morning and back to school for school pick up. There's never anytime without children to get on with housework on those days.
I go to Slimming World and am supposed to be following their eating plan so hence the different meals for kids situation, although for the last couple of weeks I've not been in the mood and have been eating all the wrong things.

Could you be anaemic?

No-one expects anything of me - I think I expect it of myself more. DH never ever grumbles and always tells me to go to bed early of an evening if he sees me down. I'm the stubborn one.

I don't know, I've never really thought about being anaemic. Guess I could get checked out.

I know, that's what I mean. You are being very mean to yourself, you would never treat anyone else like this.

Sometimes when I think I am exhausted I am actually ground down. you might feel a bit better if you go out for the evening and get drunk.

Aww mate, sorry you're feeling like this.

Is it going back to work that's made a difference? How do you feel about work? Could you cut down your hours a bit more, or give it up?

I agree with Colditz. You are thinking of everyone else apart from YOURSELF!

Hi - I am more or less exactly the same except back at work full time so my stack of washing is more like the Himalaya and kitchen always looks like it has been turned over by hyper-active burglars even 5 mins after a major cleanup. Sometimes can barely get into hall for swim bags, pushchair (yes have toddler but was still same with only two!). Then I go and volunteer for things too because it means so much to children. But did cut back on committees etc and just volunteer as one-offs to reduce stress. Children none the wiser about this!

Best time saver I find is to get someone in to iron. I pay £14.00 pw for 2 hours worth which does it all but one hour would work for just essentials. We always have ironed stuff ready for work and school without worrying about it and is great to leave a pile to be ironed ready for holiday packing. Yes I do realise this is a lot of £, it's extravagant, but so reduces stress and don't smoke or drink or go out much and our car is ancient (sounding sooo dull!) so justify it to myself that way. Just gives me a safety valve or an ally on the domestic front. In theory just need to put it all away every Friday night. In reality cupboards and drawers all full with stuff that needs to go to charity shop but never time to get round to sorting it hence Himalayas! But at least ironed Himalayas!

Still get depressed about state of rest of house but bottom line is would rather spend time with chn. When I just had two of 5 and 8 it seemed like childhood would last for ever and I had all the time in the world to enjoy it with them so sometimes didn't value it enough and felt cross with mess etc. Now my oldest is 10 and increasingly 'teenage' I can see how fast it all goes. Doesn't stop me wanting to burst with frustration when school send letters home that tomorrow's school disco is suddenly going to be fancy dress or can we make an Easter bonnet or novelty christmas cracker overnight.

When they are grown up you will know that you did everything you possibly could for them and that is far better than a clean house and regrets. Plus you manage to tackle Slimming World as well so you are actually doing superbly.

Re time to yourself we take it in turns to take the chn to swimming once a week so time to read the paper and have a coffee at least once a fortnight. Sometimes you just need to recharge! Also have you tried taking all the family out on a big walk or to a country park at the weekend or after school in the summer. Once I've been out and seen some gorgeous scenery I'm less bothered about domestic chaos and picnic food less washing up!

One last thought is there any way your dh could work from home or finish early one afternoon a week or fortnight to give you a breather from the school pickups. Just being locked to that relentless timetable can get to you!

Sorry to ramble. Hope something helps even if you just feel better by comparison!

Mima1 just read your post but so tired I'm going crossed eyed reading through it all. It certainly sounds exactly like this house. Shall read it through again tomorrow when I more with it.

Don't blame you - I went a bit mad. Have just re-read that your swimming is on a school night. This would drive me bananas. Ours is early on a Sat am. The local swimming club rents the pool before it opens to the public. This is how we can take it in turns to get up early and take them and it wears the chn out nicely for a few hours esp if it is raining! The one at home gets a bit of quiet (maybe on own, maybe with toddler)plus the one at the pool gets 20 mins for a coffee between the changing and hairwashing! When they get back we all have bacon rolls at home for brunch/lunch, again saves on washing up. This is not perfect but despite the early start makes Sat ams more relaxed and quite look forward to them. Plus club swimming lessons are a lot cheaper than our standard leisure centre prices. Maybe you have something similar, not always publicised. As children get older you will be able to leave them at clubs and activites for an hour or too. Ours sometimes do cricket later on Sats in the summer and this again wears them out and gives us an hour and a half between drop off and pick up to do other stuff. Where poss I look for weekend activities lasting at least two hours otherwise the rushing backwards and forwards just isn't worth it. Even trickier by bus.

If you can possibly reschedule something so normally only one activity per child (or mother!) per school night though it might provide a bit more breathing space.

I'm afraid I would have had to make mother wait until weekend for furniture viewing or at least until DH could get home and take over, or made her look on Internet or in Ikea catalogue. If had to go would have got takeaway on way home before collapsing. Or better, just eat the chocolates for tea. This is why I need Slimming World.

See what a superstar you are in comparison! Maybe I am just a slattern....but something has to give somewhere...it's not failing, just readjusting to get through the day!

Will try and make Mumsnet posts less long winded, will I get banned?, am new to this and hence too enthusiastic! I'm sure will wear off and by weekend will be monosyllabic!

Hi Mima. Your posts have cheered me up. You are so right in so many things.
When I started this thread I was feeling really low but between then and now I've had time to calm down and have caught up on a bit of sleep and am feeling a bit more positive. The house still looks the same if not worse.
I was supposed to go to Slimming World last night but just had to give it a miss and spend the time at home. Something had to give. My last day at work yesterday and now have a fortnight's holiday so feeling much better knowing I have that.
Brother in law and his girlfriend and baby phoned this morning to ask if they could come over tomorrow morning and I found it in myself to apologise and turn them down. I just want to have a bit of spare time to spend with my kids and my husband and catch up on some stuff at home. Really could do without them coming round expecting to be waited on hand and foot like they normally do. So feeling pleased with myself for being so strong and thinking of myself for a change.