Leaving the house

[calmday]

Hi. I'm becoming quite scared of leaving the house. I haven't been out since Saturday morning. I am really anxious about it.

I have to take my DS for a haircut on Thursday and pick up my prescription. I feel really anxious and a real sense of dread about it. But I have to go. I'm scared.

My partner could go instead of me. He doesn't work as he had to give work up to look after the children when I was in the psychiatric hospital for five months. And I'm not well yet so he hasn't gone back to work. He's supposed to be my carer. So he could take DS for a haircut and pick up my prescription for me. But I know he would refuse to get my prescription. I don't know if I could make him take DS for a haircut either.

I don't know what to do

No he says he "wants rid of me".

Oh god. No wonder you are anxious

Yeah he says I'm a waste of space. He says once our DD starts nursery next week he's going to the Citizens Advice Bureau to get help with removing me from the property.

You say he's your carer. Does he get any benefits for that e.g. carers allowance?

No he doesn't get carer's allowance because once you get it, it takes money off your other benefits. I get PIP and ESA and we're on the most benefits we're entitled to.

It isn't good that they are bringing it to you as it will allow you to stay housebound for longer
I think that the OP needs those need and if she feels as bad as I once did she would rather go without them than go and get them herself.

I think it is a good idea for Boots to deliver the meds this week and then she could start trying to leave the house.

Maybe this would be a plan??

Thursday - go outside house maybe garden or just outside door

Friday - go to the end of the road

Saturday - walk to the next street

Sunday - walk to local shops

Carry on building it up from there.

Good luck OP

Would you be ok to leave the house if your DP or son was with you? I struggle to leave the house but I can usually cope if I am not alone.

Can you break down your fears? What is it about going outside that makes you anxious? Sometimes writing them down can make them seem less scary.

But your DPs behaviour is out of order. So sorry that this is going on on top of everything else.

With regard to your partner I can only say if that is 'caring' then you need an unmumsnet hug. I really came on to post about going out; I suffer the same but for me the thought of going out and the actual leaving is the worst bit once I am 'out' it is easier. I say to my husband wish me luck. I do things that worry me as early on in the day as possible so that the whole day isn't ruined by my fears. I do think you have to try otherwise the illness is winning and that is a slippery slope. I also get scared at the thought of showering/hair washing but that is part of being a functioning human being so I do it often encouraging myself along the way. As said above small steps, try and go places you like/can cope with better, buy a small treat for yourself e.g. in Boots a new nail varnish or shower gel. Also do it just to show your pig of a partner that you can and to show your children that you are a strong person to emulate.

So sorry op, could it be that your partner is frustrated and unfortunately has taken his frustrations out on you? It happens to the best of us.

I have OCD too and BPD and life is bloody hard but I toddle along every day and now and then I think " how did I get through today? " and the answer is always my dc.
I think I need a purpose and without that I would go under.
Added to the above I have fibromyalgia so am always in bloody pain.

I'm here if you want to talk. It can get better.

Thinly veiled threats from your partner are not going to help you, do you think he means any of it?

You're not alone xx

Thanks everyone. Persian I will try following your graded exposure plan.

Royston I also get scared at the idea of showering/hairwashing. I don't know why.

Zoflora I think my partner does get frustrated with me. I don't know if he truly means his threats but I hope not.

Well I made it out to the park. There was some anxiety when I was there and I couldn't wait to leave but at least I got out the house.

Well done!!! That's absolutely great

Thankyou Lapin

Good on you!

Thankyou Royston. I also went out with my kids on their scooter and bike, feeling quite proud of myself x

Well done OP!!

Thankyou Persian. I've just spoke to Boots and they're delivering my prescription this afternoon. So thank you x

Thankyou Persian. I've just spoke to Boots and they're delivering my prescription this afternoon. So thank you
Any time.

I think that Boots keep the fact that they can deliver prescriptions really secret, as if they don't want any body to know!!

Yeah I certainly did not think they could deliver!

I'm in the same situation with my meds this week. My DP and I had planned to go to town, get my prescription and do some shopping. But I decided I couldn't face it this morning. So I paid a bill over the phone to avoid going there and we just went to tesco and got a taxi back. I forced myself to go because I'd promised my DS a few things from the shop for when he got back from school. Then when I got back I phoned Boots and asked them if they would deliver my prescription and the answer was no. So I have to stop taking my citalopram because I have no way of getting to Boots.