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Feel like i don't have time to be ill.

15 replies

BlankSpace1 · 08/08/2017 08:28

Ive been feeling tired for a while now. I don't have the energy to move, to eat, to leave the house, to get dressed, but life carries on. So I do the necessary things for the sake of my girls and put aside the urge to curl up in a corner and stay there.
Yesterday I had an argument with my partner, and instantly I felt completely engraged. I wanted to go and smash my room up, but I was sat feeding the baby, so instead I stifled my bubbling anger and continued with what I was doing.
I know what some may think, it's a good thing I couldn't go and loose it, but it's not really because it just stays there, hurting my insides and dragging me further down.

Right after that I had to go and collect my toddler from nursery, I got in the car, Blared an angry song, went for an erratic drive while screaming and pulling out hair in order to calm down. I then collected myself, and picked up my daughter in false high spirits like a good mummy. When I got back I sent my partner upstairs out of my way, and I went to bed myself as soon as both the girls were down at around 8.

This was no better, I lay in bed for 2 hours physically clutching my body because of the pain I felt inside. I wanted to self harm so badly, I made nothing more than slight scratches to my legs, but that's only because I can't face having to explain it to my partner should he notice I had actually cut, so I couldn't even use that to feel better.
I spent time reading about support from crisis team, but I can't even do that! Because all I can think is who would look after the children? My partner is a great daddy and he had the girls for 2 days suddenly when I was in hospital before from an overdose, but I felt so guilty I can't possibly leave him to do it again (the children can be a bit of a nightmare) so all I can do is despair at the fact that I'm on desperate need of help that I can't even receive.
I go to a skills group for BPD each week, but it's doesn't help and we don't talk in depth about our problems, they just try and reach you to manage yourself. I also have depression, anxiety and have just been referred to an eating disorder team, and I'm just at a loss with myself. My partner is helpful as he can be and very patient, but I'm not interested in anyone thinking they can help me cus they can't. I don't want to talk to him or friends about anything, I just want everyone to leave me alone and I constantly push him away because I am so irritable all the time.
As usual I am my own worst enemy and don't know where to turn anymore

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BlankSpace1 · 08/08/2017 13:56

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redexpat · 08/08/2017 14:00

Please get yourself to your GP. You could show them your OP.

BlankSpace1 · 08/08/2017 14:06

GP does nothing, they offer to change my meds (I had it increased recently) but they don't change how I feel at all.

They've already made all the referrals they can for me and it's taken months to get where I am, other than that they make sure I have details for crisis team but the problems with that are stated above

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BlankSpace1 · 08/08/2017 16:27

Please 😔 I don't know where to turn and can't even find support on here

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calmday · 08/08/2017 16:32

Hi. Why is it you feel you can't have support from the crisis team? They visit you at home so it doesn't matter that you are looking after DC. x

BlankSpace1 · 08/08/2017 16:41

Home makes it worse, I feel like I can't be ill there cus the girls and partner are around and I always have to be composed, if someone comes round to see how I am I just continue with that front because I can't let myself focus on my feelings, I'm always distracted by crying or shouting or whatever may be happening at the time that I just get stressed out and be okay so people leave the house sooner

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calmday · 08/08/2017 16:47

It's alright for your family to see you fall apart or break down. Does your partner know how bad things are for you?

junebirthdaygirl · 08/08/2017 17:01

Leaving your dc in your partners care for a short while would have long term good effect. Your dc will be fine as you get the help you need. Have you been an inpatient at all? Sounds like you would benifit from some time in hospital to really rest and get away.
My dh has bipolar and he was hospitalised on a few occasions and it gave him a chance to just focus on getting well.

BlankSpace1 · 08/08/2017 17:10

It's not about the falling apart thing really, I just can't be that open at my home environment.
My partner knows I'm depressed but nothing more, I just want the whole world to leave me alone.. but want to get better too!
No I've never been an inpatient, but I know that you have to be a huge risk to be admitted which I wouldn't be, plus I work in a psychiatric hospital (ironic I know) And wouldn't want to risk the job I love so much by going through that

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helpme85 · 08/08/2017 17:18

I think however hard it is to do this OP you need to put yourself first.

By putting yourself first you are putting your kids and your partner first too! They want a mummy who is there for them. And you 100% are but you would be in such a better place I think if you phoned the crisis team you can start taking some steps.

You're doing an amazing job at 'keeping it all together' you're already a fantastic mother and partner. But I hear your voice and you just need a bit of help. That's all just a little to get you back on track.

So please contact the crisis team or have an emergency appointment with your GP. What do you think? It is really what you need.

Flowers
BlankSpace1 · 08/08/2017 17:24

I suppose I just feel stupid too because crisis team is there for people who are on the verge of suicide or have seriously self harmed etc, neither of which are me right now. I will think about maybe trying though, thanks everyone

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DawnMumsnet · 08/08/2017 18:35

Hi BlankSpace1,

We're so sorry that you're feeling this low. Flowers

Just thought it might help to link to our Mental Health webguide. There are lots of different organisations listed which may be able to give you some support, such as Mind's Depression Alliance - they have a Friends In Need online community where you can talk to other people who'll know what you're going through.

We really hope you're okay.

BlankSpace1 · 08/08/2017 18:43

Thanks so much x

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ohdostopfiddling · 08/08/2017 18:50

Hi, I hear what you are going through and how you feel hopeless and helpless. It's a small thing but there is a group on Facebook called Time to change where lots of us with MH issues support each other day to day. Lots of parents, lots of people who get it, lots of compassion Flowers

BlankSpace1 · 08/08/2017 19:06

Thank you xx

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