Feeling so guilty

[maltloaf]

Hi folks

when my child was born i suffered from bad post natal depression that lasted only about 6weeks before being diagnosed properly by doctor and put on the road to recovery I was given the all clear and well at about 6 months. But before I was treated I had what I call a personality change and my behaviour was totally out of character and I started to smoke again after about 7 years. I had a few a day because my nerves were so bad and going into garden. Because this was so out of character I now have awful guilt about this because I know a well me would not of done this in a million years my child is at school now and as fit as a fiddle but I still cannot forgive myself. Do you think counselling would work or should I just learn to forget

I would try to forget about it, it's not the worst thing in the world. You had a lapse, we all do, I'm sure you haven't harmed your child in any way. And you were ill, so forgive yourself.

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thank you I just keep having thoughts that I have done the child some harm and that I was selfish I have also had a go at hubby for letting me do it but he says that I was not myself and I would not have listened to him anyway

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thanks for all your help I do not know if the starting school thing bought it all back it did not cross my mind for years I was just glad to be well and happy. If was just the thought of having the smell on me. Anyway I am now the worlds best anti smoker and cross the road to avoid smokers