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Original poster

Just ' pop in and have a chat' (and a brew if you like) if you feel lonely thread!

52 replies

forcryinoutloud · 03/08/2017 15:52

Hi all, I just wanted to start something off for anyone who feels lonely out there, I know there is lots of it about. So I'll have tea, no sugar please..........

I moved house within the last year and although I moved to a much busier road (very quiet cul de sac before) I feel perhaps even more lonely. I very rarely see a neighbour to chat to and have never seen any of my neighbours pass the time of day with each other either. Is this just the modern world?

I have a DH (so I know things could be worse) but now my kids are teens I don't see much of them either! I don't like just picking up the phone to chat to someone as I have a bit of a phobia of it and always think people will be too busy to want to chat.

So anyway , hi. I got absolutely drenched coming out of work today when the heavens opened (it's the school hots, need I say more) but it's brightening up now. The big question is whether to put the washing out? Having pizza for tea. I'm sooooo tired at the moment (think the menopause has hit me) and I've posted on the health thread to have a herbal tea recommendation.

Take care all of you, hope to see some of you on here. Just chat as if you are chatting to someone over a brew in real life

OP posts:
Mrscropley · 06/08/2017 12:41

Sorry have missed the chats. Ds had an accident and have been in and out of hospital. . Hopefully no op needed though. Been trying to do some decorating and housework. .. Not much help in for lunch today but dc always happy with pancakes!!
Anyone else got some quick lunchtime favourites to share??

queenofthebucket · 06/08/2017 14:43

Hello everyone,

Hope your dc is getting better Crying. I love scrambled eggs for lunch.
I'm really tired today, I've been slowly reducing my ad's dosage trying to get off them after years, and I've hit a blip; Insomnia.

I work in education too sunshine so long days ahead, which I quite like if I get out and see others just a little bit. I have ds here though he comes and goes on his own timetable its quite nice to have him in the background.

Ann I've met some new people through a shared interest MeetUp group this year. I like the fact that we explicitly say we want to meet new people so don't feel too pitiful when we go out and socialise together. Though I wouldn't describe them as friends, but that's me, typically I have low self esteem and think no one likes me / i'm not good enough.

Going for a swim before the pool shuts, wear myself out, hope to sleep. tonight

queenofthebucket · 06/08/2017 14:46

Sorry Mrscropley I meant your ds not crying's.
Though I hope *crying and her dc are well of course.

Aintgotnosoapbox · 06/08/2017 17:34

Hi all
Could I pop onto your thread please? I suffer with anxiety, though not all of the time, at the moment feeling anxious and a bit low and lonely, no real idea why.

Mrscropley · 06/08/2017 17:46

Hi soapbox, any dc? Or dpets?

Whereisthesunshine · 06/08/2017 18:13

Yes dog sitting today so had a long walk, met a colleague and his dog, and we ended up going for a quick drink afterwards. It was lovely. I'm no lounging on the sofa considering what I should have for dinner.

queen, what's Meetup like? I have considered it but in my area there only seems to be general socialising ones - it all seems a little drinking heavy.

Whereisthesunshine · 06/08/2017 18:14

Sorry for typos, on phone Blush . Was; now

Aintgotnosoapbox · 06/08/2017 19:01

Hi mrs, yes my eldest do just called over, he's an adult now, had a chat with him and his dp, which was nice.

queenofthebucket · 06/08/2017 19:07

Hi soapbox, Im jealous of the dog walking, I've got a cat who sits himself and makes everything hairy. I'm in London sunshine so its massive. you can do just about anything, not representative though of course.
We drink and practice our hobby, but drinking not compulsory. Maybe I was lucky with it though. Having the shared focus is the key to it I think.

Im sitting now with white wine, ahhh

Whereisthesunshine · 06/08/2017 19:39

Gin and Tonic here Smile. Eagerly awaiting Poldark.

Whereisthesunshine · 06/08/2017 19:40

Your Meetup group sounds great. I'm fairly rural so slim pickings.

Mrscropley · 07/08/2017 11:57

Far too shy for a meet up - just no way!! Have dogs and do walks with dh and dc, nice to chat with like minded dog lovers though!!

Annwithnoe · 09/08/2017 14:42

Like the idea of a meet up but when it comes to it I find it very very stressful. I'd like to find something like a crochet or knitting group but can't find one that suits timewise.
Tried joining a class last year but it was oversubscribed and I got turned away (only me which felt a bit shit tbh). I took a look at meetup.com for my area and saw a feminist book club that looked interesting, that was at a good time and location for me then noticed they had specified 18-30 Hmm
Need to try harder.

user246775435865466 · 12/08/2017 02:03

Awake again, anyone up?
I've just let my crazy anxiety send accusing text to BF 😞
How to get out of this without looking like the crazy fool I am

user246775435865466 · 12/08/2017 02:22

I've sent an apology text but he's not read it, probably sleeping.
This has just made me realise how bad my anxiety is. I haven't told him about my mental health we've only been dating few months and didn't want to scare him off.

user246775435865466 · 12/08/2017 02:24

I think I've had so many crap BF's I almost expect the worse and let my imagination runaway with me. We were going away tomorrow for the first time and I've probably just blown it Sad

ncbacktoblack · 12/08/2017 02:33

Hi user, I've pushed men away with my anxiety before. Try not to worry too much, is this the first time you've done something like this? In my experience they usually write the first time (or ten!) off Smile, and if he bails already, it normally shows a shaky level of commitment from him.

P.s. can I join the thread cos I'm feeling lonely too Smile

user246775435865466 · 12/08/2017 02:48

Hi backtoblack this is not my first show of insecurity with him and he appeared to brush it off before, I hope he does this time. Sometimes I think he doesn't help my anxiety by not communicating enough or like used too. But then maybe I'm comparing 😩 jeez I can do my own head in Blush
Yes please do join in, don't be lonely!

diege · 12/08/2017 18:56

Could I join please? Was thinking of starting a thread but this seems like a very nice place to be..
My history...have never really suffered by anxiety or loneliness until 6 months or so. My husband died last June (took his own life) leaving me with 6 children (ages 3 to 16). I work so do get some social contact, and have some good friends, and seemed fine (well as fine as could be expected) until I started seeing someone recently who is, shall we say, a bit of a flake but of course I am head over heels in love...I had been initiating divorce proceedings with husband so (hard as I may sound in light of the circumstances) had been feeling pretty emotionally detached and lonely for around 18 months, marriage was very controlling..). As well as current levels of anxiety (mainly around new relationship...what if , what if...). I am getting very tearful about how lonely and on the outskirts of things I feel. Weekends especially hard when everyone else is with dps - can go from Friday to Monday without speaking to another adult and school hols bad being off work. Hoping to find some support, and give support, here!

Missythecat · 12/08/2017 19:02

Hello

waves

Feeling pretty lonely tonight

Missythecat · 12/08/2017 19:03

Yes weekends are the worst. Everyone else having a lovely family time

diege · 12/08/2017 19:15

Hi Missy! Sun's come out here which always makes me feel worse oddly..What's your story?
Have to pop out for some shopping shortly and struggle to walk past the happy families and couples on the many pavement cafes and restaurants where I live. And of course that is crazy as I'm pleased people are having fun (or at least appearing to be - have been there!) but wonder if this is what it's going to be like for the rest of my life?!

ncbacktoblack · 13/08/2017 05:31

user you have to think of it as black and white as this. You are sick. And your partner either is or is not supporting you. If you had cancer, would you accept him not being there for you? No, because that is not acceptable behaviour from a decent human being. Mental health is minimised massively in the industry to the point that people don't take it seriously until it's too late.

user246775435865466 · 13/08/2017 17:50

Hi diege sounds like you've had a really tough time of it. I hope you can find me sone support here.
Early dating is filled with unknowns and anxiety and strangely loneliness as you still have very separate lives.
Weekends can really be hard.

Backtoblack you are right. And this weekend has taught me how patient and caring my BF actually is and I really need to try and relax and stop stressing. Easier said than done though.
I hope everyone has felt some sun on their face today, sometimes it helps to feel a little better.

diege · 13/08/2017 21:40

Hi user Smile. Have skimmed the thread and think you're doing really well. If you discover a way of stopping the overthinking then let me know!
Have made contact with a counselor today as think I'm at the stage when my anxious thoughts are starting to interfere with my ability to function...so hard to admit though Blush