Anxiety and shyness, introversion, being quiet

[Sarahhere1992]

Hi everyone, sorry if there is a better suited thread/forum for this but it's the closest that I could find that fits my situation.
I've dealt with being shy for as long as I can remember. Since being a small child, I always remember it being hard to make friends and speak up. My school reports always stated that I lacked confidence. This has followed me throughout my life, and I always thought it would be something I grew out of. I'm now 25 and I'm still really struggling. I still feel so shy around new people and social situations, and people often comment on how quiet I am. I am naturally introverted, although it's never stopped me from going to university, getting jobs etc. I also have a small bunch of very close friends too.
I recently broke up with my boyfriend as I found out that he had been cheating on me for a long time. This has really knocked all of my confidence. I am currently at university and have to do placements as part of the course. This means meeting and joining new work teams on a regaular basis. I've just started a new placement, the first since my breakup, and I feel really low about my confidence. I came away today really upset. I love my career and it definitely is what I want to do, but it is very public and social skills are necessary. I try my best to fit in with the teams but my shyness really holds me back, it really frustrates me, feeling unable to share my views etc. I always worry that other people perceive my quietness or shyness as being stuck up or strange.
My mum is very outgoing and chatty, whereas my dad is naturally very quiet too.
I just wondered if anyone else is going through / has been through a similar thing?
Is there anything you can suggest that will help me?
Its been getting me down so much recently that I feel like dropping from my course and taking up a new career that may have more lone working.
Thank you

I don't think it's a good idea to drop your course, you will regret that later. Better to set up a plan how to practice being more confident, in small steps. Read up on articles describing cognitive behavioural therapy and try to think of small ways to be more assertive. Write a diary about your progress, and if it's not going as fast as you wish , try, and try again. For example if you're afraid of making phone calls, you start small by calling a friend, and later perhaps an automatic answering service. Then you call some company and ask about something like the price of a product that you know they have. Raise the stakes bit by bit, but start small. It's the same way in sports, you can't succeed in high jump straight away, you'll have to start with the bar close to the ground and not be angry with yourself if you miss, but rather try and try again until you succeed.

I am a quiet introvert, now working in a public facing proffession in a senior position. My uni course involved placements similar sounding to yours and I now supervise students on these placements. I used to be incredibly shy, I still am in social situations but not at work. Us quiet, introverts have a lot to offer in the workplace.

If you are struggling at the moment I would suggest seeing if you can access some councelling through student services, that was something I found very useful. I would also encorage you to be open with your placement educator about your shyness and lack of confidence. As an educator I like to be aware if my students have any concerns and support them in developing their confidence throughout the placement. We understand that a new placement every few weeks can be a real challenge for students.

Hi Sarah, it's natural your confidence is low after splitting up with your partner. I can relate to being a quiet introvert at times, however the degree of it, as to whether it's a problem or not, is also dependent on my mood and confidence. I had some counselling to look into why I was struggling with low self and social confidence after several difficult life events. Being quiet isn't an issue in itself, but if it is reflecting low self confidence or anxiety, it can hold you back at work etc.
if you want to call over to the journey of anxiety thread feel free :)