Severe anxiety about smear test

[missg00se]

First of all, sorry if this isn't in the right place. Maybe I should have posted in general health, I'm not sure!

I have a general health issue (severe pain in lower abdomen/pelvis) that's being investigated and as part of the investigation I need to book an appointment with the practice nurse for both a smear test and blood tests. I know I need to book the tests, but I'm so anxious about having the smear done I can't bring myself to do it.

I feel ridiculous. I'm in pain most of the time, and I know I need to get these tests done but I get this rising panic in my chest whenever I think about the smear. It's keeping me awake at night and I don't know what to do. I'm so worried that if I go I'll freak out when they attempt to examine me, or keep it all in and go through with it and then fall apart afterwards.

For context, after the birth of DD a year ago, I had terrible flashbacks to the induction process, lots of bits of it but in particular the part when a doctor said she was going to check how far along I was, and proceeded to do a (very painful) membrane sweep, without warning. This panic/anxiety lasted for months but eventually settled down. Having to think about the smear has brought all the feelings of panic and helplessness back, worse than before. I feel so pathetic, but I don't know what to do.

Just looking for some advice/support really. I've always hated smear tests and have fainted after a couple but I've never had any psychological issues around them, I've just got on with it because it has to be done, and I'm so frustrated that I don't seem to be able to do that now. My husband is getting impatient because I haven't booked the appointment and I don't know how to tell him what the problem is either (although he may have guessed because I often seize up now during certain intimate moments). I feel like I just need to pull my big girl pants up and get on with it but I don't know how.

I can relate to your fear.
Could you ask your gp for something like diazepam to take before your smear so it will help you to relax a bit.

Maybe if I could bring myself to have that conversation with the GP it would help. But that's another fortnight for the GP appointment plus further wait time for the nurse after that. I think I just need to pick up the phone and make the appointment. Maybe if I rehearse a bit in advance I can explain to the nurse at the time how anxious I am, before we start. I surely won't have been the only terrified patient she's had?

You need to talk to them and explain your worries. Most practitioners will have worked with patients who have past trauma and there are things they can do. They can use a paediatric smaller speculum for example. In extreme cases they could prescribe you a mild sedative.

Write down brief bullet points saying what you want to get across before that call. Have that in front of you when you do.

Clear your schedule for when you do go and get someone to bring you home if you can.

I can entirely sympathise with this. I have a deep rooted phobia of smear tests due to a specific experience.

I do manage to have smear tests these days, I am prescribed diazepam specifically to facilitate this process. No one has ever refused to take me seriously about this problem.

It could help if you remember you have no need to feel guilty about this situation - you cannot help it and no one will blame you. On the contrary, my experience is that people are sympathetic and helpful.

You can get yourself referred to hospital to have the smear- they have a 'difficult smear' clinic at mine . I was referred after several failed tests and phobic levels of anxiety after painful experiences. These nurses are experts and have all the specialist equipment needed to perform the procedure, including gas and air if you need it. If you feel you can't say things aloud to the doctor or the nurses then write a letter in advance and it will help you contain your anxiety about getting things moving.
You are not alone; other women (including me) will have had traumatic experiences of procedures and birth and the nurses are used to helping women in this situation.

I had the exact same thing happen during my induction. A new midwife came on shift, said she was going to see how far along I was, and proceeded to do a very painful examination. After, when I was in tears she said, "I thought I'd do a sweep while I was in there, that's why it hurt." I was really not happy to have this done without my consent but there was so much going on during those few days I never said anything.

I also think you should try to explain how anxious you are to see if accommodations can be made. I found during pregnancy HCPs are willing to do this, so perhaps it will be the same for a smear. I've seen a lot of posts on Mumsnet about fear of smears so you certainly aren't alone!

Absolutely shocking by the way that mws are doing g sweeps without explicitly explaining to the patient their intent and obtaining verbal consent. Dreadful clinical practice.

Instead of making the appointment and hoping for the best or waiting to see the GP could you ask to chat to the nurse? Maybe some medication or some relaxation/visualisation techniques might help. At the very least you can agree whether you want them to talk you through it and what you will say if you need them to stop.
FWIW I fucking hate smear tests and always put them off. I know. I know. Had mine done yesterday. Over in seconds. Really was.

Thank you all. That's really helpful. It's good to know I'm not alone with this! I will have a good think tonight about how I want to approach it. In the meantime I've made an appointment to have the bloods done separately so at least the investigation into the mystery pain can progress.

@OrangeJulius so sorry that happened to you. Its exactly what happened to me, down to what she said afterwards. I was genuinely shocked. I had a terrible induction and at the time that wasn't the worst bit but it's the bit that has stayed with me the longest. Possibly because she didn't stop when I asked her to either. How dare she!

She shouldn't have done anything without consent unless it was a lifesaving procedure and you weren't able to give consent. I'm so sorry that happened. Hope the investigation goes well.

Same experience here with DC1: still get flashbacks five years later. It was a registrar in my case but the exact same disregard for me and my body. Ended up with PTSD. Diazepam and being very firm about my need for gp/nurses to stop immediately when I say so have meant I can go for smears and follow ups okay. So sorry this has happened to so many people - it makes me so bloody angry.

Sorry to hear that @BabiaMajora.

That's it though, isn't it? The complete disregard for you as a human being. All it would have taken was ' I'm going to see how far along you are, and if I think it would be helpful I'll perform a sweep, but I'll let you know if I'm going to do that. Is that ok?' Surely not that difficult even if you are busy? Unless you've lost sight of the fact you are dealing with people and not brood mares.

It doesn't even seem that much on its own (although of course it is, it's a painful, invasive procedure performed without consent) but for me it just emphasised how much I just didn't matter, and the whole experience had been dehumanising enough until that point anyway.

I think you may have hit the nail on the head though. I need to know that they will stop if I ask them to. That will really help my conversation with the nurse. Thank you.