Struggling with work and life

[Adrianflank]

Hello, I need some help

Today I had to leave work, the last 8 weeks or so I have noticed my mental health get worse, even my flat mate has noticed, it has got to a point where I cannot leave my bedroom when I'm in , the thought of going to work makes me feel sick, makes me nervous as anything, even people at work have commented that I'm not the happy young chap I used to be!

I'm also not eating alot, not enough anyway, I'm not sleeping very well, and I'm smoking way more than I was before, Im up to 35 to 40 cigarettes a day
I have alot of money worries going on at the moment!

I hate my job but I cannot find a new one without taking a £5000 pay cut atleast and I can't afford that! I feel trapped there

I have go through stages of feeling like this but I have always picked myself up, but this time I don't think I can, and just feel like the world is collapsing on me!

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning, but I'm just scared that he is gonna tell me there is nothing wrong with me and tell me to get back into work, and the thought of that terrifys me!

Sorry if it didn't make sense, I have no one in real life to talk to, being a bloke I feel very ashamed of feeling like this

First things first. You are not alone. I've been signed off work for the last six weeks with anxiety, and I've been referred to the local Mental Health services for an assessment.

Do see your doctor. They will not tell you it's nothing. You're obviously not in a good place in your head, and the fact that you're asking for help will be a big plus.

However don't expect miracles. Mental health issues are a bit like throwing spaghetti at a wall. Sometimes something will stick and work, sometimes it will take a few goes before something sticks.

Also mental health referrals can take weeks, due to huge amount of demand.

Has anything happened to set this particular episode off? I know that my latest one was triggered by a big family crisis, didn't help much knowing in my situation but sometimes knowing the why helps with how to treat.

Well done for making the doctors appointment though. I always dread doing it. But I know it's the best first move to make.

Thank you frankieStein for your reply

I couldn't tell you what has caused this, I've always gone through stages of feeling down, but always managed to pick myself up, and going into work was always a help for me, but this time, I just can't seem to pick myself up, and work is causing most of the problem for me this time.

I haven't really enjoyed work for last couple of years (who does) but I just feel trapped there, I feel like I can't leave because of the money, I didn't do great at school and never went onto further education, but my job pays really well and haven't been able to find anything close to it!

I'm in a similar situation work wise. TBH I do enjoy my job, but sometimes the stress of it means I'm up all night worrying about going In the next day. So I'm there half dead and hating life and it seems so much easier to not be there. Again I'm in a well paid job with minimal qualifications and nothing else would come close to my salary for my hours.

What's your sickness like as a rule? Because it's obvious from what you've said that there's a pattern here. (I'm another one who can normally hoist myself out of these phases, until I can't like recently)

If you're not off sick a lot then I wouldn't worry overly much. Just see what the doctors say. They'll probably try medication (assuming you're not on anything currently??)
It can take a few weeks to start working though. It's not an overnight thing.

One thing I will stress is that if you need space and time to get your head together then take it. Going back because you're afraid of having too much time off, or before you've got it under control can cause a massive impact on your ongoing mental health. Better to try and get it sorted now and at least get yourself to a point where you're hot being a hermit before you try and tackle the rest of the human race!

*not being a hermit. Damn autocorrect

FrankieStein sorry for the late reply, went to the doctors yesterday, I was sat around another 10 or so people, I was a nervous wreck, was shaking, if my girlfriend wasn't there I would of left!

Went in to see the doctor, and I just burst out crying, couldn't bloody stop, I just don't know what's happens to me, I'm normally a confident guy, but have become a emotional wreck!

She diagnosed me with servere anxiety and depression, put me on meds, and she has signed me off work!
Last night I sat there for 30 mins looking at my phone trying to build the courage up to ring work, I was going to go take my sick note into work today but just couldn't bring myself to do it!

Don't know where this has cone from, a few weeks ago I was my normal confident self and now I just feel pathetic

Seriously don't worry about taking a while to reply, just glad you got some help.
These things do and can happen. If you don't feel up to taking the note in personally send it in (use recorded first class post)
Hopefully the Meds will help. Although as I said before they can take bloody ages, so stick with it. (And read the leaflet, in some very isolated cases the side effects can totally suck)
So glad you have a gf who went with you. It's so much harder doing it alone.
Make sure you go back to follow up. Even if you feel like it's the last thing that you want to do.
Here's hoping you feel a bit more balanced soon xx