Voices /psychosis /agoraphobia/self punishing

[annandale]

[long sigh]

This probably should be in parenting. Don't know how to manage dh's needs (voices and a lot of difficulty being around people) and ds's (normal teenage life). In the term it's OK and he has a close bunch of friends with forbearing parents who do a LOT for him. Harder in the holidays. Yesterday I played truant and took ds to a water park leaving dh alone (less time alone than on my normal work days). He was self aggressive, not self harm exactly but bashed his arms about, stabbed a book (he says, can't see any damage). I've never been concerned at all about ds's safety, only that it's odd and solitary being with his dad with lots of screen time and basic food but could be worse IY SWIM. Wondering now if I should try to send ds on a summer camp when I am back at work (he won't want to go).

This is a rambly essay. Don't know what I'm asking, just a handhold I think.

Hi my DH also suffers from episodes of psychosis and when unwell can be very aggititated. I know how lonely it can get sometimes. We don't have any DC yet, so no sure Im qualified on that front. If you feel DS is safe and he would rather be at home with his Dad than summer camp then I don't see the problem. On the other hand when my DH is symptomatic he is very aggitated and unpredictable which can be scary and unsettling for me let alone a DC, I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving them with him when he is like this. Is your DH likely to SH whilst looking after DS? That in itself sounds harmful psychologically. You are the one who knows DH and DS best to make the decision.

What professional support do you and DH have? Is now a stable time where symptoms are controlled at their optimum, or is now a time where he is symptomatic and unwell? What support is available for DS? Wondering if he would be classed as a young carer? This would open up other support options for him. It might be worth discussing with social services as they may be able to help, either with the cost of holiday club activities or with support more specifically aimed at DC who are supporting parents in similar situations.
Something I am finding very useful is taking part in a study called REACT www.reacttoolkit.co.uk (relatives education and coping toolkit) which is aimed at people who's relatives have psychosis or bipolar. You either get allocated to get a resource directory or online education and support group.

Thanks Nolonger. I don't really think dh would ever do anything to himself while ds was in the house, though he has certainly been tense, low, tearful and tetchy while he is around. That's fairly normal though, ie nobody is chirpy all the time.

It's a relief to have someone else say a summer camp is my call - this is why I posted in mental health! I wondered for a bit if other people would be horrified I hadn't sent him away.

I like the look of the REACT study, thank you for that.

There is still such a lot of stigma and fear arround psychosis and voice hearing which makes me sad and sometimes angry. Normal is a relative term and what is normal in your family and normal in someone else's will be different. Your son is a teen so I'm sure if he felt uncomfortable being at home with his Dad he would be perfectly capable of making the decision to go to a friends or to summer camp instead. Also capable of calling you if he gets worried or needs you during the day.