The feeling that nothing is ever going to change... and the fear that it might

[ChocChipIceCream]

I hate change/the unknown/unfamiliar situations and every time I do something new and challenge myself, it just makes me even more wary because nothing that I've ever tried in any area of my life has worked out well.

My head is a mess. I'm torn between wanting something different out of life and being very aware that, in past experience, 'different' has always meant 'worse' for me and you can't go backwards. There's nothing positive in change ever. I'm not doing great now but things could be so much worse.

I feel like if I'd been trying to work anything else out for 20+ years, people would tell me to give it up as a bad job but because it's life that I'm shit at, I'm stuck. Is it just me?

So are you saying that no change, ever in your life however small has had any positive outcomes what so ever? Or are you talking about most changes, or some changes? What percentge of changes have resulted in a positive or neutral outcome?

I'm wondering if something like cbt or nlp would be helpful, to help you examine how your thinking processess could be making life difficult for you. If we expect a certain outcome we are more likely to see the things that support that belief. E.g. "I bought a new dress, now I'm £50 worse off" V "I bought a new dress and I love wearing it, it's comfortable and I think I look good in it"

My personal experience is that NLP ( neurolinguistic programming ) has got me unstuck in life and helped me to see thinks in a different way.

It doesn't really matter. I know that's how everybody sees it. I need my head looking at. There must be something seriously wrong with me that everything goes badly for me. Maybe I have just got the life I deserve.

I didn't mean it like that, I just know how much my thinking shifted with the nlp and that made life feel so much easier.

ChocChip I think abbot like you when I am depressed. And at other times it lifts. But I think I do get what you are saying. It's not just you.
It sounds like very catastrophic and 'black & white' thinking. Which I do too. Are you having any help to view things differently?

*a bit