Anniemac, most people believe that if you are experiencing side effects, this is a very good indicator that the mess are going to work for you. Unfortunately with antidepressants, as they need to build up to reach a therapeutic effect, you get the difficult side effects first. A bit like taking antibiotics, you can feel worse before better.
I've said it before but I will also say it again. Going on antidepressants is a very brave decision and it takes strength to get through the start up.
I also maintain that whilst side effects do happen, loss of appetite, unsettled bowels, nausea and so forth, the side effects are exacerbated by increased anxiety from beginning a medication that messes with our brains. It's scary. Fear increases anxiety.
My gp said to me that if I would just accept I was taking tablets and surrender to the side effects instead of fearing and trying to fight them, things would get much better. He was right but it's easier said than done when anxiety is high.
Both times starting on the sertraline, the best help I had was talking to those that had been there. Just knowing I could express the anxiety and be understood helped me get through it.
Justlyn, I did know how grateful you would be, because I have been there. Rehydration sachets and all. I remember just how grateful I was when posting my first terrified message and getting supportive replies. It means the world.
When the anxiety was really high, I regularly broke down in tears. It's the bodies way of ridding cortisol, the stress hormone. That will also settle.
I read up so much on anxiety and there are a few things that helped me. Anxiety, believe it or not, is actually a sign of a healthy body. You are supposed to release adrenaline when you are afraid as it can save your life in times of danger. The issue is purely with the thoughts or situations that trigger it. These can be dealt with once sertraline calms the anxiety enough to think logically.
At my most anxious, I would have attacks in the shower. Attacks after eating. Attacks that woke me up from sleep. Morning anxiety on waking which was basically sheer terror. I shook, I could barely climb stairs. Loud noises would send me into an attack. Even lighting changes would set it off. I was literally scared of my own shadow. It upsets me to remember it actually as I was so so unwell.
However. Sertraline got rid of it all.
This time round I wasn't as bad when I went back on sertraline. I recognised the signs I was slipping and got help earlier.
I've been back at work a month, more productive than ever. I laugh, I sing, life feels good. It will be for you again too, without any doubt.
You just have to hang on in there a little longer. This is the very hardest part. Don't be hard on yourself, you've managed to eat something which is wonderful.
There are things that can help when anxiety is about. Apps on your phone, search the word anxiety in your App Store. Mindifi is superb to listen to when trying to sleep. Avoid any tv programs that are dramatic, stick to comedies and funny videos. Same with music, light hearted.
Most, most importantly, try your very best to go for a walk. I know that feels like an absolute impossible task when you are so unwell and it's okay if some days you can't manage it, but if you can, force yourself. Even if it's a few laps of a garden. Exercise releases our feel good hormones and that calms our stress hormone that we know as anxiety.
Avoid caffeine just now, switch to decaf. Keep going with that water and maybe find a snack you can manage to nibble on. Raisins, jelly tots, something like that which is small and not so scary as a meal.
Mammoth post, sorry about that, keep your chin up, you will get there.