Complex PTSD following abuse over 10 years by husband with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

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Just wondering if anyone else out there suffers with CPTSD as a result of a relationship with someone with NPD?

I'm reading a lot more online now about this and the pieces finally match what I've been going through and are helping me to understand it now.

No formal diagnosis yet, but my ED nurse has suggested I have PTSD (never heard of CPTSD) following years of EA from my now ex husband. I don't know what his personality type is as I haven't been able to talk about many of the things he did to me/made me feel.

Complex PTSD is PTSD caused by repeated traumatic incidents where you feel you cannot escape over a long period of time - I'm finding this really helpful - spartanlifecoach.com/

I know this is quite an old thread but I wanted to answer it as this whole area is quite a 'hot' topic at the moment. Or at least it is for me and quite a few others it would seem (although it is hardly new and must have been going on for years).

I had it and I know other people who have had it too. If you have been in a coercive relationship you tend to become 'normalized' to this type of behaviour. It is also quite insidious. It tends to escalate over a period of time. Having children with a person with narcissistic traits tends to exacerbate the situation, in my opinion, as there are still strong taboos about 'breaking up' a family and cultural expectations to 'work on a marriage', perhaps 'for the sake of the children'. All of these expectations can serve to guilt or shame a person into staying in a coercive relationships. Plus having children may mean one person is financially dependent on a partner meaning that breaking up could lead to financial distress for one or other of the partners. It's important to seek counseling or therapy where the therapist understands NPD and its effects. Knowledge and understanding of the condition is really important. Don't allow the NPD partner to label you as 'nuts' or 'hormonal' which is a classic ploy. Your children are likely to be used as a strong bargaining tool for maintaining the status quo and the taboos against divorce (still) can keep people in abusive relationships well after their sell-by date.

People with NPD would rather chop of their right arm than do any self-analysis so it will be their partners who have the problem not them. As well as the support of a counselor/therapist you need to create robust support systems around you. Preferably join a group for support and surround yourself with people who genuinely care about your welfare. Practice self-compassion and self-care. Do not judge yourself harshly but be kind to yourself. If your NPD partner is abusive recognize that s/he is the one with the problem, not you. That is not to say that anyone is perfect, but if you find your partner constantly making accusations starting with 'you' recognize that this is probably more about them than you and is a form of projection. Rather than admit and recognize their own shortcomings, the NPD individual will project them onto another person or several (spouse and one or more children, for instance). This phenomenon is still not well understood and deserves greater awareness and understanding, in my opinion.