I don't even know where to start.
I have no self esteem.
I have no boundaries yet don't like being touched.
I'm angry instantly without a valid reason or at least for a minor reason.
I want to be left alone.
I want to do things I don't normally want to do (I'm a cautious person so like take drugs, try something dangerous, drastically alter my appearance).
I have 2 DC 4 and 1. I do suffer from depression and am on ADs but this doesn't feel depression like.
To not drop feed / include as much as I can.
-- my parents are lovely but can be quite critical.
-- I have a disability (visual)
-- my partner does too
-- I love my partner but we don't spend much time alone and he doesn't really communicate well
-- I've had my sexual boundaries pushed and sometimes trampled on many times.
I'm not sure if it's counselling / psychotherapy I need or I'm just fucked up.
Anyone felt like this / have any ideas what I should do?