I am feeling so depressed and helpless and dont know how to stop feeling like this.
I have a beautiful 6 month old baby girl, who I love to bits and a wonderfully supportive husband but every day I wake up and dont want to get out of bed. If it wasnt for my daughter needing me to be strong and care for her, I think I would still be in bed now.
I think I know what has caused me to start feeling like this. Unfortunately my baby girl has had quite severe eczema since about 8 weeks old. Despite numerous visits to dermatologists and trying loads of different creams, I still struggle with her on a daily basis due to her overwhelming urge to itch. Even nappy changes or feeding have become a battle as all she can focus on is scratching. I feel incredibly guilty as I only breastfed for 3 weeks (due to terrible breast pain) and everywhere I look I read that "breastfeeding helps prevent eczema"! So I feel it is my fault my angel is so unhappy.
My husband, although wonderful, constantly complains that he doesnt feel loved or gets any affection from me, but I just feel unable to show anyone affection apart from my daughter. I literally feel dead inside when I'm with anyone but her. But to be honest, even when Im with her it is so stressful I cant wait for her bedtime, which is an awful thing to say because I love her more than life itself!!
I dont think its PPD as Ive only felt really bad the last month or so. I really dont want to speak to the doctor about how I'm feeling but I dont know what to do.