So sad and lonely

[OnlyGodKnowsWhy]

Hi ladies, reaching out to anyone that can relate, I know I'm not alone, though I might feel it. Mum of four here, raising them on my own and working as a manager. Two weeks ago I was just your average Joe, getting things done and living quiet. Went on a little holiday with the kids for four days, came back and just like that, a crying anxious wreck.

I had a bug of some sort and the doctor said that was likely what caused the anxiety and depression. I was literally howling at least 4 times a day for an hour or so at a time.

Today, my stomach has finally settled down and I felt good. Got up. Sorted the house, got dressed, took kids out to get a pump for their pool, got the pool on the go, all without feeling spaced out, panicked or crying.

Then I had my doctors appointment where I wanted a bit of reassurance I suppose, that I wasn't having a relapse of anxiety and depression and it was purely bug and would go away. I got there on time...and an hour and a half later, still wasn't seen. I had no choice to go home because of the kids. Since I've been home, I've been on the verge of years and thinking all sorts of thoughts, mostly about how alone I feel. If I disappeared no-one would even care. I'm heartbroken as I was so sure I wasn't having a relapse after today but now I'm afraid again. Cab anyone relate?

Persevere with getting to see a doctor. Anxiety is a horrible thing. Did you tell the receptionist you hadn't been seen? Otherwise, it's possible they thought you hadn't shown up which might make them reluctant to give you a repeat appointment. In the meantime, until you can be seen by a doctor, have you got any friends you can ring for a chat/ invite over for an evening? Sending you and hoping things seem brighter in the morning.

I'm here, talk to me

I hope you get the help you need. Definitely try to go to the doctors again!

Thank you for replying, means a lot. They use an automated check in system at my doctors and they told me it was going to be a wait after the hour so they did know I was there. I've calmed down a bit now, just a bit sad that I couldn't get seen today.

I had a terrible time with depression and anxiety four years ago, stopped functioning almost completely and it sad for scariest, saddest time in my life. I thought I would never feel anxiety or depression again, so it's given me a real fright. I'm scared I could end up the way I was again, but I also know what to do to stop that from happening. If I could just see my doctor that is.

Does anyone have any experience with St Johns wort at all? A friend mentioned it to me yesterday but I'm not sure what to think about it?

SJW is worth a try. I think ANYTHING is worth a try when you're on the edge of depression.

I think the bug has left you really run down and that's a little crack for the sadness to creep in. Don't start worrying the darkness from 4 years ago is coming back though, your life i'm sure is totally different now.

Plus you got through it then- you will again xx

I'm in tears now, I can't get an accurate temperature reading, I have an ear thermometer and it says 38 degrees in my left ear and 37.5 degrees in my right ear. I started feeling flushed on the back of my arms so I took it.

I don't understand. I don't understand if I am unwell, or mentally unwell and that is causing me a lot of distress. The last 5 days, I've had a pattern of feeling terrible in the day and peaceful at night. Today was the other way round, great day, terrible evening. I really don't understand what is going on with me.

My mum says it's like I'm having early menopause symptoms. I've had the Mirena coils for nearly five years, it needs changed in November. This flushing feeling, mostly across my shoulders and in my arms, she thinks it's all to do with my coil.

I don't know, I'm just absolutely gutted I didn't make it through the day without breaking down 🙁

Maybe a bit of both? Feeling unwell and mentally unwell. It's normal to have different temperatures on each side, don't worry.

Get thee to the GP again and get some blood tests x

I'm going to try get another appointment today, it will have to be afternoon though as I can't take any more time off my work. I have to go to work today and I woke up feeling so nauseous with that hot feeling in my arms again.

I saw the doctor, I have to wait a week for an appointment for blood test, she says provided that comes back clear, then I would be prescribed sertraline again. I'm heart broken, I can't understand such a rapid change. Never thought I would have to take antidepressants again 😓🙁

fingers crossed it's something else xx remember things change, this is just temporary

It's really good that you've gone to the doctors again. If everything is clear at least you'll be on the path to getting better.