Feeling odd

[PinotAndPlaydough]

Sorry for the strange subject line but I can't quite explain how I'm feeling now but it doesn't feel right.

I don't think I'm depressed, I suffered from this in the past and it was very intense. Back then I felt awful, like I was a horrible person, I was suicidal, angry and tearful and a complete mess.

Now I just feel a bit disconnected from life, I'm fed up with everything. I'm currently sat in a coffee shop opposite a train station and I just keep imagining what it would be like to get up, leave all my shopping and just get a train somewhere far far away.

There are stresses in my life at the moment mainly concerns about what my financial situation will be in a few months and the fact that I'm trying to control my comfort eating urges.

In recent weeks I've taken a step back from relationships with friends and family because I just don't feel like I can relate to them and explain how I feel at the moment. My relationship with my husband is shit (please no suggestions about leaving him, it's absolutely not an option at the moment).

I just don't feel ok, I feel so separate from everyone else and so bored of my life. Honestly if it wasn't for my children I would just go and disappear for a bit.

I have a gp appointment next week to discuss some extream pmt I'm having which is really impacting my moods. I'm not sure if I should mention this too.

I'm sorry if this is all a bit garbled I just can't find the words to explain it, empty maybe? I just don't care about much right now. Could it just be a funny 5 minutes?

Depression isn't just about feeling sad, suicidal, angry etc. It can also make you feel flat, apathetic, and disconnected - that's how it is for me.

It could just be a funny 5 minutes, but if you've been withdrawing from friends and family for weeks it sounds like something more serious.

Clearly you have stresses and limitations in your life that are making things worse, the boredom and marriage problems etc, and you'll be able to work on them in time, but given that you've been depressed in the past I would definitely talk to your doctor about this.

Hi OP, no advice but just wanted to let you know I'm feeling exactly the same lately. Disconnected, and like I'm losing all my confidence. I'm paranoid my friends don't like me, and that I'm a shit parent.

It happens for about a week-ten days every month, so I know it's hormonal, but it doesn't help. I've never been on meds before but seriously thinking of going to GP to ask for some mood stabilizers or something.

I think mine might be hormonal too but it starts the week before my period and goes on for the week after. This month has felt a lot worse and it's the first time I've actively pushed family away.
I actually feel better today (my period finished a few days ago) but I still don't feel like it's right that I spend most of the month feeling so bad. Despite the stresses that I have going on at the moment I just feel less able to deal with them at certain times of the month.

I'm now actually worried in the difference between my mood today and yesterday, it's such a huge difference. If this is depression as a pp suggested is it possible for your mood to fluctuate so dramatically?

It is definitely possible, as you've just described me again! DH says I'm either really happy and full of beans, or low/flat/lethargic. I think I get a handful of days inbetween periods where I'm actually stable and content.

Are you on any hormonal contraceptives? I'm on Lucette (used to be Yasmin) but when I've come off it in the past my mood swings seemed worse? Plus I hated the not knowing when my period would be due, not being able to take two packets back-to-back etc.

When is your appointment next week? There's around a 3 week wait to see my GP atm, so I'm tempted to make one now (though I'm sure when it comes round I'll feel fine and like I'm wasting his time).

Oh, I'm also trying and failing miserably not to comfort eat

Not on any contraception but am wondering if it might help.
My appointment is next Tuesday so I'll be sure to let you know what they say. It's good to know I'm not alone in this.

Just to say good luck today

Hi ladies...me too I just feel shit! I have zero motivation...think I'm a failure...think everyone dislikes me. I just want to stop it all sometimes. I was just going to start a thread.

I am seeing Dr later...ive been on and off meds 20 years. I just sleep all day sometimes.. ..i think I need psychiatric help x

Goingrogue - I feel like you describe exactly x

Hey, so went to the gp this morning. She was very understanding. It definitely sounds as if this is hormone related and because I feel ok at the moment but was hard to describe just how bad I feel the week before and during my period.

Anyway she offered me two options, hormonal contraceptive or anti depressants which I could take just for those two weeks.
I've decided to try the contraception for 3 months, I know that most anti depressants can cause weight gain and I've worked really hard to lose a lot of weight recently, I know putting weight on would make me feel even worse.

I'm actually a bit scared about going on the pill and have always rejected hormonal contraceptives because I'm worried about how they would effect me but I'm actually desperate now for this to stop.

I hope you all manage to get some help too and I'll keep you updated about how it's going.

Hi Pinot, so glad you saw an understanding GP. Which contraceptive pill has she put you on? I really hope it helps. I'm def going to see if I can change mine to see if it helps before I go down the anti-d route.

Poisongirl81 sorry you're feeling down too. Have you ever tried CBT? Have heard it can be brilliant.

It's called rigevidon, I have 3 weeks on and then one week off.

Classic symptoms of depression I would say. Disassociation, feeling disconnected from others. Please talk to your GP about it.

How you getting on Pinot? I only have 7 pills left in my packet and my little black cloud has arrived