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Original poster

Is this just pregnancy hormones or is this depression?

19 replies

intearsagain · 23/03/2007 13:47

I have felt more and more down over the last few weeks and have now got to the point where I'm finding it difficult to do anything. Dh is finding me increasingly hard to live with but reckons it's just pregnancy hormones playing havoc. I don't really know what - if anything - I can do.

OP posts:
Mumpbump · 23/03/2007 13:48

Sorry you're feeling down. Go and see your doctor. I think if you're at the stage where you are finding it difficult to do ANYTHING, it is probably more than pg hormones...

lulumama · 23/03/2007 13:49

thread here about ante natal depression- support from others going through it agree with mumpbump, see the doc x

Original poster
intearsagain · 23/03/2007 14:00

Thank you for the link lulumama, I will have a read.

Mumpbump, am in two minds about going to the GP. Dh is suffering from depression atm and not medicated (he has been in the past but is trying to deal with it himself this time) and I'm not sure that he would be happy about me speaking to the GP (after all, why would I go except to get AD's?). I'm not in a position where I could go without his support either (I mean emotionally, not practically).

OP posts:
Mumpbump · 23/03/2007 14:04

You could always go to the GP and ask for some form of counselling to start with. It doesn't have to mean you end up on AD's. But to be honest, I would have thought your dh would recognise that sometimes people need AD's to break a cycle if he's used them in the past.

Berrie · 23/03/2007 14:04

Oh poor you. I suffered crippling depression during both pregnancies and it was awful. It melted away each time though. I kept in touch all the way through with the gp but refused medication. I had counselling and was eventually referred to the consultant but they were no help really.
I do think you need to look into some support. I am sad now that my pregnancies were such a horrid negative experience. how many weeks are you?

alittlebitshy · 23/03/2007 14:06

why would your dh not be happy? surely seeing a gp is a positive step?

Original poster
intearsagain · 23/03/2007 14:07

I'm five months on. THis is my fourth pregnancy and I've never felt like this before, ever. I'm finding it really hard to come to terms with.

I'm not a crying person but I would say I have cried more in the last 24 hours than I have in the previous ten years.

OP posts:
bubblepop · 23/03/2007 14:07

hiya,just read your post and wanted to tell you that there are lots of women out there that have been thru this, myself one of them. i was awfully depressed during my last pg,i had 3 children to deal with aswell, i was ill nearly the whole pg with various ailments and everyone around me was worried for me. then after the baby was born,within a week or so, i felt so much better.it was if a little black cloud had been lifted. loking back now, im convinced it was antenatal depression due to hormones.if you do a few searches you'l probably find some more info,atleast you can console yourself that;your not the only one,and it won't last longterm. good luck. x

Original poster
intearsagain · 23/03/2007 14:08

I just think he thinks I should just get on with it and deal with it, as he is, alittlebitshy. I'm maybe being disingenuous; I haven't probed too much yet.

OP posts:
Mumpbump · 23/03/2007 14:10

You can never know what someone else thinks without asking them. I thought dh was going to react negatively when I told him I was pg with ds to the point where I was toying with the idea of just terminating the pg without mentioning anything to him. He was absolutely over the moon about it! Speak to your dh and find out what he's thinking, rather than just fearing the worst.

Original poster
intearsagain · 23/03/2007 14:11

Thanks bubblepop. Tbh the thoughts of another 4 months of this is just overwhelmingly awful. It is really affecting my and dh's relationship in a bad way and causing him a lot of grief. He has said a couple of times that he has come very close to walking out.

Sorry, you are all being very helpful and I do appreciate it; I'm not ignoring your advice. I'm just still trying to get my head round it all.

OP posts:
Berrie · 23/03/2007 14:24

Would you take Ad's while pregnant?

Original poster
intearsagain · 23/03/2007 14:27

I don't know berrie. I'd have to know more about the side effects etc. I'm already taking medication to deal with a pg-related problem and feel really bad about that.

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Berrie · 23/03/2007 14:31

I wouldn't touch them but...I'm not sure I was right it was so awful not just for me but for dh and ds the 2nd time. I'm so so sorry for you as remembering how relentless it was is making me feel sick. {{{hugs}}}

Original poster
intearsagain · 23/03/2007 14:34

Thanks berrie. I am pretty awful to live with atm. I can't think of anything/anyone but myself which is putting a lot of pressure on dh (which he is finding very hard to deal with too). I can't show him any affection and I just seem to be wrapped up in a bubble of self-pity. It's horrible.

I'm really wary of counselling as I think it could open a Pandora's Box, so to speak. I am not good at talking at the best of times and I have a lot of unresolved issues in my life and feel that now is really not a good time to deal with them.

OP posts:
Original poster
intearsagain · 23/03/2007 15:02

Sorry - I didn't mean "thanks" in a sarcastic way, I meant thank you for sharing your experience and for your sympathy. Sometimes it's hard to believe you are not totally alone!

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Berrie · 23/03/2007 15:14

It's ok! I knew what you meant.
Didn't mean I wouldn't touch them - if I were you...I meant when I was pregnant I didn't touch them.
I agree about the counselling it made me far worse which was probably why she felt she had to get rid of me by referring me. It stirred up all sorts of issues and gave me more fodder to churn over and actually those things were not making me depressed. I just WAS depressed because of the hormones and once I was better post pregnancy those things I thought were making me depressed just weren't an issue.
Do you have a good GP who listens and gives you some time?
They were a lot more relaxed about anti deps 2nd time round and like I said, looking back, I probably should have taken them... don't know why I'm saying that though, I have been struggling again lately, 18 months on and I have a packet of ad's in the cupboard that I'm stubbornly refusing to take!

Original poster
intearsagain · 23/03/2007 15:21

Glad you didn't take it the wrong way berrie - I'm really not myself atm and not sure when I'm being rude or not

Yes, I have a lovely GP who is great at listening and won't just fob me off with platitudes or meds I don't want. I just need to pluck up the courage to go (and the courage to talk to dh about it first ).

OP posts:
Berrie · 23/03/2007 15:50

Go for it, I'm sure that your dh will want you to do anything you can to help, you might be worrying overmuch

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