there's just no one

[happyfrown]

my head hurts, thoughts that theres nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to. I have no one. im breathing so my kids don't get hurt. every day seems so hard to get through, every day is the same lonely, deflated, disheartening, I cant cope. feel like I will break down.
I have BPD so people and me don't mix well but I suppose they are the very thing that can help? I feel uneasy and anxious around people, judged how I look, talk, act so distance myself. then feel lonely, unwanted, not worth being here!! its a cycle I cant break so whats the point.

I could have written this myself.

The sense of loneliness and isolation when you feel misunderstood is excruciating.

I suppose that it's something that we should try and fight? I'm thinking of the fake it til you make approach.

The advice that I'd give you is that you mustn't give up. I shall try and take that advice myself.

sorry you feel just as bad, I wouldn't wish it on an enemy

I really dislike that phrase, i fake a smile every day so my kids don't see me sad or crying, fake mask when I do go out so people don't think im weird. I can fake with all my energy but the 'make it' part don't seem to ever be in view. its exhausting the hardest part is not even knowing what you need to get better or where to start?
when I feel in such a deep hole, I feel numb and nothing can motivate me.