feel so alone

[happyfrown]

I promised myself I wouldn't come here, theres nothing any one can do but im trying to take my mind of my thoughts.
last few weeks have been so hard, my head is telling me to give up but i cant leave the kids like that but im so desperate to stop it all, its a constant battle. i have no family, i don't know who i am, i have no future im just an empty shell. i cry sitting alone, i sit outside the front door some days as its less lonely than indoors. but its not normal lonely feeling. i could be in a room full of people and still feel alone. i cant connect to any one.

This isn't you, this isn't your future. You just need help. See your GP tomorrow without fail and get the help you and your kids deserve x

my 2 eldest will be living with their dad soon, social services say they can try and help me bond better but i know i wont get their in time. my dd keeps me going for now, she is 6 and the thought of her pain and crying makes me fight another day. but how many days, weeks or months i can cope with is unknown, it scares me. i don't know how to help myself, ive tried what the mental health team have offered but nothing works. my childhood has killed me inside, i grew up with my mental health its all i know how to cope. being alone is how i coped.