Please help me 😭

[madcatsforever]

I don't know what to do!

I'm having a massive relapse and it's all happening too fast! I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for a few years which seems to improve and get worse in cycles. I've been struggling for a couple of months getting lower and lower.

Finally told my GP how I've been feeling on Monday, she's referred to CMHT - I was discharged from them in December following a good patch. In just a a few days I feel so much worse. I'm on edge all day waiting to get home so that I can binge and purge, drink wine and self harm. I'm in pain yet I can't stop.

I declined help from the crisis team, I feel bad going back to my gp so soon after telling her I'd be ok until cmht can see me.

Genuinely don't know what to do to stop the cycle. I'm hurting and stressing. I don't even know what I need to help me, all I keep thinking about is needing someone to look after me 😭😭😭

Do not feel bad about going back to the GP. You need to tell them that you were wrong, that you were worse than you though, that you need help now. Call the Samaritans if you need to talk tonight then call the GP in the morning.

Get a therapist. I've been there, and it was the thing that made a difference to me.

Oh please don't feel bad about going back to the GP. Your GP would absolutely hate it if they thought you were too embarrassed to go back to see them. As french says, just go and say you thought you could cope, but you are getting worse and you need to take up their offer of help.

Good luck tomorrow, let us know how you get on, if you want to.

Don't feel bad... this is your life. Mental health isn't rational, they know that. Sending you some love during this tough time and unmumsnetty hugs xx

@Caulkheadupnorf I've had various therapies - CBT, EMDR, CBT-E for bulimia and DBT ... all have worked, while I was being treated and then for up to 6 months after. And then the cycle starts over again.

I just can't keep it going on my own :(

Thank you all for your replies, I'll do my best to call the doctors tomorrow :/

Look at open ended therapy. I've seen my therapist for 6 years, having seen about 5 different people for a few weeks or months before. I honestly didn't think I would ever come on as far as I have, but her support has made an enormous difference.