At wits end

[heatherxo]

Ok so I feel like I'm constantly posting here but I'm done.
I need fxcking help. My moods are erratic, one minute I'm flying and the next I'm drowning.
I feel very violent right now. Towards others and to myself. I'm at the point of smashing my head off the wall to try calm myself down. I just recently cut my arms again too.
I need help! THERE IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH ME.
I know it. I can feel it. I have the doctors telling me this is normal on antidepressants.
This is not normal. Someone needs to stop me before I really hurt myself or someone else. And the gp is doing jack-shit!!!!
Somebody help me, or slap me, or something.

I'm so sorry your feeling like this, have you got the crisis team number of so , ring them and tell them how you are feeling and that your worried you will hurt someone or yourself.

No I don't know any numbers. I was told only my doctor can help, which they ain't.
I can't let them take my boy away. I would NEVER harm him. But I'm at the point of wanting to do physical damage to someone. My head is fxcked

Have they referred you to mental health? I know it's hard but if you need to talk I'm here

They tell me to go back and see them again every two weeks. I've gotten so agitated that I've phone the mental health assessment unit today and the guy pretty much said I'm lying.
I am sick of this. I'll no be lying when they find me dead somewhere.

Sorry I'm just freaking out. I feel like it's all I do lately. I just need someone to listen and tell me what is wrong with my head

I'm sorry you're feeling so awful. It sounds quite overwhelming. Have you checked out the symptoms of BPD to see if they fit? If so, it can be treated. Your GP needs to take you seriously and make an onward referral. Good luck.

I've had many people mention bpd over the last few weeks. I've read up on the symptoms and most of them fit. Gp just doesn't seem to care much. I feel alone. It's taken me so long to finally pluck up the courage to ask for help and I feel like they aren't helping at all. It's making me feel useless.
I'm gonna try again with the gp tomorrow and if they say the same thing yet again I won't be going back, I'll just have to find a way to cope myself

I don't know where you're based but many mental health trusts now have dedicated personality disorder services which offer diagnosis and treatment. Is there anyone who could go with you to your GP to help you insist that they make a referral?

I'm so sorry.

Do you have any children?

Some antidepressants can cause massive agitation, and not everyone reacts the same way to the same anti depressant.

The level of agitation you're experiencing isn't normal. First stop is back to the GP, ask to consider a different AD - some can be more calming than others) and perhaps a small number of diazepam to see you through the worst.

I saw my fav gp today. She is making a referral to the psychiatrist.
I'm glad someone is finally listening. I know this isn't normal. Hopefully everything will work out from here