Hi all
I've struggled with Anxiety/ PA and depression for about 6 years
It wax and wanes, I'm learning to deal with it and live a pretty normal life.
However I'm now a different person, I'm not the happy go lucky person that I was before. I'm happy, my life in general is good, but I'm constantly waiting for the volcano that is my Anxiety to erupt.
For a long time I couldn't cope with thinking this is it now. I've tried Anti D's and felt worse on them, I've had CBT and that was ok! Taught me a few good things.
I suppose what I'm getting at is how do I learn to understand that this is me? It may get better, but it may not? And that's ok?
I beat myself up over it when I know I shouldn't! I find it hard, our life is great, no money worries etc what should I have to be anxious about, but I am!
I think if I could just learn to accept it I'd be far better. I'm terrified that I'll get worse and end up doing something I regret 
. I spend my time thinking how can I live 50 more years like I'm on egg shells
It's so weird, it either needs to bog off or I start to accept this is me and it's ok to be different to the old me!