Did you have depression as a teenager and 'grow out of it'?

[ZaZathecat]

I'm really hoping for some positive answers to this! Dd16 is depressed and has been having CBT for anxiety and panic attacks. She feels the depression comes from inside her and it's an illness and feels like she'll always feel the same. However she also feels like the world is a bad place so what's the point of anything, feels like an outsider at school because her few friends are not really on her wavelength, is very shy and anxious, and is lonely. Some of these things, I think, are common teenage feelings that improve when you find your place in society as you grow up. However I do worry in case she will always be this unhappy because of depression. Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

I was a very shy child, I'm not sure I would have been classed as depressed, I do remember having what I now realise were pannic attacks and I had a long spell off sick from school which looking back I susspect was depression, though the Dr just gave me vitamins as far as I remember. I saw a councellor privately but wasn't refered to anyone via NHS (I'm not sure that my GP really believed in depression though) I certainly had a lot of self hatred and urges to self harm as a teen and was bullied a lot.

Things improved at college when I got away from the bullies and read lots of self help books and then improved again when I went to uni and started to get some self confidence. Then I had a few hiccups in life and depression hit big time and I was suicidal. I got through it with the help of a good GP, ADs and a great councellor and came out the otherside stronger and happier. I was fine for about 10 years and then life events triggered depression again, this time I got help earlier and with ADs and councelling got back on track. I'm currently recovering from PTSD triggered by a traumatic event, but doing well.

Theres been some tough spells, but generally life is good. I've worked through a lot of issues in councelling and I'm a much stronger, happier person for it. I think I am a better more compasionate person for the experiences I've had too. I've got a great job and a fab husband, there is definately light at the end of the tunnel.

Thankyou for your answer Nolonger. It sounds like you've had some really tough times but have battled through and made a good life for yourself. In a way it's comforting to know that your episodes of depression are triggered by difficult life events rather than ever present. I know it's probably still there in the background but when life is runnimg smoothly you can cope and be happy.

I'd say focus on the present. No way of telling how different people will turn on. Some will recover, some won't.

I'd say focus on the present. No way of telling how different people will turn on. Some will recover, some won't.

I grew out of it in some ways but not in others. I have a depressive personality disorder, I started having suicidal ideation at a young age (6 or so), and I kept it to myself until I started self harming at 13. Patience and understanding is key, I was told a lot that it was a phase and things would get better when I would have been better off being taught coping mechanisms. In the end, the only person that could stop me self harming and get me 'recovering' was me. I had to make the choice. I'm sorry you're in this position, I know it was so hard on my family.

I suffered dreadfully as a teenager, from 12 right up to about 20 when I was able to regain my life back.

Unfortunately I'm suffering again now quite badly. I'm nearly 27. I think this kind of thing sticks with you unfortunately and you don't grow out of it but have good and bad patches.

Hopefully with the right care she can use CBT to train her thoughts to see other ways of coping that may help her but if CBT doesn't work, please try something else. I haven't found it at all helpful but I know people who have raved about it. It's totally down to the person.

Good luck and I wish your daughter well

I "grew out of it" and couldn't be further from depressed now. Although I did have a period of PND after dd1, not sure if I'm "susceptible". I think age brings confidence and you're more sure of yourself but for some people depression will be a lifelong thing. It's great that you're aware of it and helping her though, that's really all you can do

I think suggesting anyone could 'grow out of' an illness is pretty minimalising. I suffered severe mental illness between 12-24 (including lots of medication, a few long hospital stays and some suicide attempts)

At 29 I am now better, I have occasional mood issues but largely fine. Haven't been on medication or self harmed for 5 years. But I didn't 'grow out of it', I recovered. It's like saying will someone grow out of cancer. The fact she's a teenager doesn't make it less of a real illness. If she's anxious and having panic attacks and CBT this isn't just teenage mood swings. I hope she recovers from her illness soon.

But yes, recovery is totally possible, even after the absolutely depths. My life now is great, I can't really believe I've got here.

Thankyou all. I think you're right Big and I try to do that. It's too daunting to look far into the future but sometimes you can't help it.
Ryan yes I hope the CBT will help her im that way. I am quite patient too, although sometimes it's hard to be when you think things are going well and then seem to go backwards again.
Thankyou Dolly and I wish you the best too.
Goosey I'm so glad to hear how much things improved for you, it's very encouraging

Yes I recovered but I now know mine was exasperated by environment. I grew up in very small town and always felt claustrophobic. Once I was able to spread my wings there's been such a change in my outlook.

I was depressed after dd1 because I felt stuck. And during my pregnancy with dd2 but no where like the utter despair I felt as a teen.

For you and your dd as I know it's shit

I have recurrent episodes of depression but the most devastating bout for me was when I was your daughter's age. People were reluctant to see it as anything more serious than teenage angst and in many ways this made everything worse.

But yes, it's definitely possible that she'll recover.

Paperdoll in no way did I mean to minimalise it, that's why I used the ''s. I just wanted to know if people can go on to lead happy adult lives when they have had depression as a teenager. I take my dd's metal health very seriously. I'm glad your life has turned around and it is great to hear such a positive story.

Thanks Mycalm and This. I agree it's a pretty bad age to be for many. Luckily our doctors seem to take teenage depression seriously nowadays but I sense that other parents who haven't experienced it sometimes think she's just being awkward.

I was severely depressed (attempted suicide three times, wouldn't leave the house etc) and I am absolutely fine now but I had to leave th situation I was in. I was at school and I hated it (I still finished but I didn't have to go into classes, just sat my exams) I also had to move out. My dad and I got along well but moving out just made me happier, I had my own space. I think it was honestly a change of scenery, being in that house reminded me of being depressed, so I was depressed if that makes sense?
Sorry this is so badly written, I have 8 month old DD climbing on me 😂

Never I'm sorry you had such a bad time. Dd also missed the last few months of school and just went back to sit her exams. She has felt suicidal but thank God has never tried it. I do hope the end of school and start of college will be a help.

I'm 38 and I have had severe recurrent depression since I was 14. So some people don't grow out of it. I have had a lot of intervention over the years, all on the NHS - intensive psychotherapy, inpatient stays, weekly psych visits, art therapy, CBT, every type of pill available. It's good to try everything that's offered, if only to stay within the system. I can't imagine ever growing out of it. It's hard and often I feel like I'm just waiting for life to end. I actually have a pretty supportive family who have made huge efforts to help, so I think in severe cases there isn't much that can be done by outsiders - it's very much an internalized problem.

I have a happy life. Would have got here more quickly if I'd had a better understanding of what was happening to me and had MH support as a teen/young adult. It sounds like you are doing a great job ZaZa.

Thankyou Stickle. raidin I'm sorry it's so bad for you - I guess that's the scenario I'm scared of. I hope something eventually helps you, it's a horrible position to be in. All the best.

I was very severely depressed as a teenager- long hospital stays. It took until early-mid 20's to get to a fairly normal level of functioning. I then had some excellent years and achieved lots and had a good life. But having PND and then being in an abusive relationship meant everything went a bit pear shaped. Maybe if things had been different I wouldn't have got ill again.

I think your daughter is so young, she is capable of changing and blossoming. It's just not coming as easy to her as it does to others. It doesn't mean that she won't get there.

Being a teenager is crap- I think what helped me through was eventually finding my group of mates who were like me (but not depressed!). School was awful but college/university was brilliant as there is more chance to find people on your wavelength. Working was also far better than school. I can't understand people who say it's the best years of your life- they were the worst of mine. I'm over 40 and I still get nightmares that I'm back there!

Don't feel sorry for me! My life is honestly perfect at the moment (I could write the worlds most goady post) I think it taught me to appreciate things and made me a better person.
Honestly I think she'll be fine, I only wrote how bad it was to show you the extent it can get to before it gets better. It doesn't mean she won't be better
The only thing I'd say Is don't let her worry if college isn't for her, her life isn't over. I was meant to go to uni and would have continued to be depressed but I dropped out after a levels and now have an amazing job. I thought my life was over because I didn't go to uni but it made my life so much better!!
Good luck to her and you op, it must be hard on you both !

Thanks for all the replies and it's good to see how many of you are happy now.

Going back to what you said about the depression always being there, for some people it does seem that way, but for me its not. When I am well, I am well with no shaddow of depression, this can last for years. As I've said for me its triggered by life events and stress. A CPN once told me its a normal reaction to too much stress, so finding ways to relieve the stress is really important to stay well. These days I make that a priority, I've also learned to go to the GP for ADs as soon as I start to feel a decent into depression, or urges to self harm.

I also hated my school days I wouldn't go back to my teen years for all the money in the world. My husbands mental illness started in his late teens and he's the opposite, he longs to go back to before it started as he's hardly been well since. Hopefully your daughter is getting the worst bit out the way now like I did.

One of my DC had such a shit adolescence.
MH problems, depression, anxiety , CAMHS appointments, counselor, eating disorders, self harm. Fighting to keep them in school. Fighting to keep them from retreating to a world as small as their mattress.
I can remember so clearly a parents group running alongside a young patients anxiety group. Most parents were , to a greater or lesser extent, grateful that their offspring were responding to treatment, after a year or two. I fell apart. It had been four long hard painful destructive years for everyone in our family. I thought then that my DC was different, that it might be MH problems for life.

I can't really describe the difference now. I am just so grateful. DC finally crashed out of school. Decompressed for a year. Chivvied them into mundane part time jobs, so as to have a reason to get out of bed. Gradual improvement. Returned to education. Nail biting stress, but found their own way to cope. Success in Access course. Off to Uni in September. But, best of all, happy. Sense of humour returned. Good social life. Self belief.

Maybe will still crash and burn. Maybe not . But climbed out from under once, so can do so again.

Believing there's no possible positive future? I think that's part of depression. And yes, whilst " growing out of it" might sound a bit facile, once the hormonal and identity maelstrom of adolescence is past, the waters do become more navigable and maneagable for some.
All best wishes for a better future.

Dancing I'm so glad your dc made it through to the other side, thanks for the encouragement.
I agree nolonger, I wouldn't relive my schooldays for anything - and I didn't have depression.