Social services threatening to tell my work

[butterfly1115]

2 weeks ago I stupidly went on a bender (was not in charge of my children) after seeing my abusive ex on a dating website. I have always suffered from depression and it has been getting worse and I'm not coping with my husband leaving.

After going out and getting wasted I obviously felt severely depression and was having suicidal thoughts so I went to my dr who referred me to the mental health team.

The mental health team have no reported to ss that my children may be at risk of neglect due to my low mood. The children are well looked after and I have an excellent support system which includes my mum coming in every night to help me.

Ss are now saying that because I work with children they need to inform my work about what is going on, I am distraught, I was told by the dr that ss wouldn't get involved because I didn't have the children when I got drunk/high. The dr has since said she doesn't understand why they want to tell my work as I am not going into work drunk and never have/ will.

If they do tell them I will probably loose my job which I love due to a stupid mistake that won't be repeated. How can they do this? They are making the situation so much worse, I feel so stressed I am having chest pain and I feel constantly anxious.

Everyone I have spoken to thinks it is an over reaction including the mental health team and my dr and I just don't know what to do. I feel like quitting my job so I don't have to deal with any of it.

I am getting counselling, have been to the dr have the mental health team coming out regularly and have a good support system in place. I feel like I'm being punished for asking for help and ss have made a decision about me without even meeting me.

I have no advice but it sounds horrible for you. Honestly, I doubt they'll tell your job unless you're a threat maybe it's just a threat so you sort yourself out.
Your ex is a dick. Forget him. Just feel glad you're not the one wit him anymore.

I don't understand why SS have been involved just because of your low mood?? I have severe depression. Have tried to kill myself once already (daughter was at my Mum's), very nearly succeeded, and have been on highest strength anti depressants for years. Nobody has even thought for a second to contact SS??? I would put in a formal complaint. Also maybe contact your Health Visitor if you still have one? Ask them to give their opinion to SS as to your suitability as a parent.

I think this is all highly disproportionate. Just because you got a bit drunk on one occasion and felt a bit suicidal does NOT mean you are a risk to yours or anyone else's children!

You say you got high. Can you tell us more about that?

I drank wine and did some cocaine which I know was wrong and was a one off but I sought help straight away and now feel I'm being punished

Surely it's how you were after and your coping skills (like going on a bender for the reason given) they are concerned about, rather than it actually being because you went on a bender in your free time?

It's more about the impact of your depression

Not sure it would mean that you would lose your job, think that because you work with children they have to report it. Are you in a union?

I would see if you can get a mental health advocate to support you with the legalities, or you could phone Mind or Rethink helplines for advice. It does sound rather like they have blown things out of proportion. On the other hand I work in a profession where people have been struck off for things that they did out of work.

I had this last year. Ss reported me to my employer. I asked for a meeting ( took a friend/colleague) and explained the situation. They carried out a few checks of my work with line managers and referred me to occupational health. I have attempted suicide 9 times in the past few years most recently a year ago , but being open and honest and working with my employer, I've kept my job with no problems.
Depending on where you live , there may be advocates who can help you through it. If you work with children , I would assume you are in a union , ask them for advice too.
If you want anymore help please pm me. I've been through it. Big hugs.

At risk of sounding like a patronising old bag, you seem to be being punished for doing the right thing. How many of us have been on a bender (OK without the coke) and work with children?

If you're doing your job well, that should be it. Unless you're posting all over FB of course.

Really hope common sense prevails and it all blows over

Sorry but I wouldn't be employing anyone who took cocaine. It's a criminal offence and would mean a failed DBS if prosecuted. An organisation that provides direct child contact is likely to take a hard line I'm afraid - regardless of whether it was in your own time or not.