How do you get someone to go to hospital/docs

[ahatlikeprincessmarina]

...when they won't talk to you or open the door to you, only text? My aunts and I are worried that my DM is pretty ill (physically) but her depression/anxiety/reclusiveness are leading her to keep us all away and minimise her condition. She tries to claim everything is fine but we think she may have at best flu/gastroenteritis, at worst something even worse. WWYD?

I would phone her GP and explain your concerns to them. As long as she has mental capacity no one can force her to accept assessment or treatment, but her GP can be the judge of that. If it is just flu or gastroenteritis she might just need some peace whilst she recovers though, theres not much a Dr can do for either of those.

I don't know who her GP is and she won't tell me.

Please, can anyone suggest what I should say to her to try and persuade her? I feel this is going to end one day in calling the police to break her door down

It may well end with the police breaking her door down. If you are concerned you call call Adult Social Care for the borough in which you live and explain your concerns. If they believe there is sufficient reason to be concerned they could send the police round to do a welfare check. This is about the limit of what one adult can do on behalf of another adult.

If your DM has a diagnosed mental illness and you feel she may be a danger to herself or others and if you are her nearest relative (a legal term under the mental health act) then you can request a mental health act assessment from her local mental health team. They can insist on assessing her with police support if necessary. What you are describing doesn't really sound like it fits that category though.

You could contact adult social care and explain your concerns, there have been incidents where things have gone wrong because they haven't acted. Under The Care Act self neglect can come under safeguarding so they might try and investigate

And they can check who the gp is

What makes you think she's physically ill?

Noone can give you the words to say to persuade her as we don't know her.

Emotional blackmail 'do it for me, I'm ill worrying about you'.

Threats: I'll phone the police for a welfare check if you don't

Softly softly: please, we're so worried about you

Only you know what's going to work. Ultimately you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped unless she's deemed not to have capacity. If it's a mental health crisis and you can say that with confidence she doesn't have capacity to make decisions about her care you could request a mental health act assessment - your local crisis team should be able to advise you.