Planning suicide. Please help.

[grannysmiths]

Without giving too much away, someone I am close to is planning suicide. I really need some advice on what I can do to help. They are not wanting to do it for a while so I don't need to take them to A&E or anything immediate. What do I do They have specifically asked to not get anyone involved. Sorry to be vague I don't know what to do

Of course, please contact SOBS, they deal with suicide grief but might also offer assistance with this.

Of course, please try any mental health charities/facilities. I understand the person may have asked for your confidence but this is a life and death matter.

Also, please check this Facebook page "Someone else's Sarah". The lady who runs it has been in a similar situation and has great advice.

Try to ensure the person is not left alone at any point.
Sending prayers.

Hi OP,

We know you aren't referring to yourself here and we hope you don't mind us hopping onto your thread, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

I would do the following:

• Get support for myself, for example by speaking to The Samaritans or by speaking to a friend whom I trust or a professional with whom I have a relationship. I would not ask anyone who I spoke to when seeking support for myself to take any action beyond to suppprt me. I might not name the suicidal person. This is the first thing I would do.
• Tell a professional connected to the suicidal person, such as the other person's GP if you know who that is or, if the person is a minor, tell their parents or a teacher at their school. I would break confidentiality, and this is how I would do it.
• Ask the suicidal person whether they need anything from me, and what that might be.
• Not panic. If I found myself panicking I would seek more support for myself.

I am not saying that this is what you should do, but I have been in a similar situation and would act as above if I were in your situation.

If they've told you…I'd wager they want to be stopped.

I'm only talking from personal experience of course- any time I really, really wanted to do it I didn't tell a soul as I didn't want to run the risk of anyone foiling my plans.

If you know their GP/ whoever else supports them professionally ring them. If you don't, I'd ring your local adult social services helpline to say you are concerned about the welfare of an adult. They would be able to find out the person's GP and give them a call.

Do they have a life threatening illness aside from planning suicide?

I agree with dangermouse regarding telling you.

Thank you everyone, great advice. Unfortunately it's not a case of telling me so I could try to stop them. It became obvious as they have started tying up loose ends and writing a will there's no illness betty - obviously apart from untreated depression. I will ring some of the places recommended tomorrow. Really appreciate the replies

Unfortunately it's not a case of telling me so I could try to stop them. It became obvious as they have started tying up loose ends and writing a will.

This does not mean they do not want to be stopped. One can get quite far down the planning route whilst still wanting to be stopped on some level.

To be pedantic, it is also not possible for you to make a diagnosis of depression unless you are a psychiatrist or perhaps clinical psychologist who has assessed the person. Suicide plans do not necessarily indicate a diagnosis of depression. It does not matter whether this person meets the diagnostic criteria for depression or not. What matters is that the professional who are responsible for this person's care are aware what is going on. I would tell the professional about the tying up of ends and writing of a will details. These indicate the serious nature of the plans.