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Mental health

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SIL put on anti-depressants today, she said she has never bonded with her 8 year old...

2 replies

pepsi · 19/03/2007 14:31

Its hard to encompass and huge amount of detail here, but my SIL suffered with PND when she had her second dd whom is now 8. All was well with her first dd who is now 10. My SIL has always been anxious, she is a sahm and never goes out in the evening and doesnt drive so she is home all day by herself, although sometimes she helps out at school. her dh works a lot, does 12 hour shifts. Her "estranged" father was found ill at christmas and is now living with social services whilst awaiting his op next month, this renewed contact with her father has been stressful for her, during this time dd2's behaviour has once again got bade, abusive to teacher hitting out at other children, generally very difficult, wont listen, says nasty things. My SIL today told me that she doesnt hug dd2 or say she loves her and her doctor thinks this all stems back to her PND. As a family its always been clear to us that DD1 is the favourite. I think DD2 feels all this anxiety and favouritsm and her behaviour is a result of it. I am no expert on this and wondered if what I have said here rings a bell with anyone and if there was any organisation which might be able to help her with her feelings towards her DD. As a person you never know where you are with SIL, one day she will say she is doing something and the next when you ask how it went it didnt happen. Its been like this for years. I want to help but dont know how.

OP posts:
calebsmum · 19/03/2007 14:55

Hopefully the ad's will help with her moods, maybe she could do something that's just her and dd2 once a week? Do the rest of the family tell her dd2 that she is loved and wanted?? Really feel for her dd2

pepsi · 19/03/2007 18:10

No, its become a bit of a cycle, she is seen as the trouble maker.....and often is, but her older sister is very clever in coming out looking like the little angel and uses it to her advantage. Their Dad, my brother, comes home from work and of course gets an earful about how awful she has been along with screaming, etc, then of course is hard for him to come in and have quality time with anyone. Its all a bit of a mess thats really hard to untangle. Theres the issue of having a tv, playstation, dvd player in the bedroom. There have been sleep issues with dd2, where she wouldnt sleep in her own bed. Theres inconsistency in any rules applied which therefore gives any kid the incentive to keep pushing.....but if my SIL isnt well then its really hard to stay strong. There isnt a quick fix unfortunately, everyting is going to take time, and consistency, but I cant see it ever happening.

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