What is wrong with me?

[user1496775451]

Hi I'm new here and I'm desperate for some advice. On the whole I am a very happy person with a great job and lovely family life but every now and again I have really serious episodes of what I would call depression? Today is one of those days. It'll build up over a couple of days. I feel withdrawn, disengaged with everyone, preoccupied and the feeling of sadness consumes me till it physically hurts. I have not been able to stop sobbing all day today and I get so frustrated that I actually want to hurt myself as punishment for being so rubbish! Today has been the bad day it will gradually get better over the next couple of days until I snap out of it. It never coincides with my period so I don't think it's hormonal?

It this something I need to see the dr about or do others feel the same? I can't talk to my friends about it because I'm embarrassed and they probably wouldn't believe me anyway as I'm usually so happy.

Thank you in advance
Rachel

I understand. I have that too. Unfortunately I made the mistake (in my case) of seeing the gp. My dh made me. By the time i got home i had a call from a counsellor trying to book me in to see a psychiatric, i had social services over as i have kids and they spoke to my kids school to see if the kids are ok. Wtaf!! I was fuming! I obviously caught them on a not busy day. I really regretted it and felt i made things worse. You gotta be so careful with what you say its crazy. Its ironic that you want to open up to someone but actually cant cus u have kids and they might take them off you if you say something. Its madness! Gp wanted to put me on medication but i didnt want it on my records. I say see someone privately. Less hassle. Samaritans are also good.

Stop beating yourself up. Im not over it I'm just having a better day. I find music helps me. And time alone. Long walks. Cooking. Reading. Sleeping. Sounds silly i know but they help me in little doses. Do what makes you happy. Stay away from the fire. Dont put yourself in situations that upset you. It all builds up and hits you like a ton of bricks. Its not worth it. Life's too short and you have to look after yours. Be selfish to find some peace. x

I have a different experience. I hava always found GPs very helpful when I've been feeling like this. ADs have been an absolute life saver for me at times. There is no shame in taking medication if you need to and your medical records are confidential so no one other than you and the medical professional need ever know if thats what you choose. It is unlikely that social services would be informed, they would only do this if they were concerned for your childrens safety and seeking and accepting help for your mental health from professionals is viewed as a positive thing by social services anyway. If you saw someone privately they would have exactly the same duties regarding child safeguarding as an NHS proffesional anyway.

1 in 4 people suffer with mental health problems, so you may be surprised how many of your friends are feeling similar.

Other things that are proven to help with depression are mindfulness and exercise, both things you can do for yourself.

Thanks for your comments guys. As predicted am feeling much better now. But this time I've spoken to my husband and to a couple of friends. They agree that it isn't unusual and maybe just my coping mechanism. I have 4 young children and work in a fairly high level job. We're almost at the end of a massive building project and on the whole I'm happy, but occasionally my head throws a wobble! I'm not worried about AD as I ended up on them 5 yrs ago for PD. I didn't like how they made me feel but they helped anyway. I'm not concerned about SS because I believe if you asked my children they would say I'm awesome. Being a mum is the one thing I know I'm good at, I've had plenty of practice !

My husband/friends have said they are going to keep an eye on me and I've said if it starts happening more frequently etc I will make an appointment with the GP xxx