Is this anxiety or just life?

[KeyChange]

Hello I'm looking for some advice on whether my current problem is anxiety and could be helped by a GP visit, or if it's just life and I can learn to deal with it myself.

Lately I've been constantly anxious about work. Thinking that everyone thinks I'm rubbish and that I'll lose my job. I've been working hard but am part time and feel like whatever I do it isn't enough. Then cos I'm juggling a heavy workload, I sometimes make mistakes - and I feel like that just confirms everyone's perception that I am crap.

I've spent most of the weekend dwelling on a relatively small mistake, preparing what I'll say if challenged on it. It's bloody exhausting.

There are other non work aspects to this. Like worried my family and friends are offended if I'm not in touch enough. Or wondering why people haven't liked my posts on Facebook. I know it's pathetic but it's like I'm seeking out things to be anxious about.

This stuff just plays over in my head and it's making me miserable.

I had an awful breakup last year which left me as a single parent and my self esteem plummeted, I'm still really sad and angry about it. In terms of work I can't be the fantastic hardworking colleague I once was cos I have to leave at a decent time to collect DC, then I can't work in the evening cos DC usually asleep half nine then I'm knackered. I can't come home and offload to someone about a crap day so I think I stew on it. I don't have meaningful conversation with anyone these days cos the focus is always on DC.

I feel overwhelmed and can't see how it will be fixed. I did mention workload at work and my duties were revised so now I feel like I need to make it work - but am really worried it won't.

Urgh. Thanks for listening.

You have anxiety. But this is coming from someone with anxiety and sounds just like me. Cognative therapy helped me. One thing you can try now is to schedule in some worry time for between 7.30-8pm tonight, and tell yourself you will think all your negative thoughts at that time and not think about it any other time.

Hope you are ok. Someone will come along and tell you that everyone hates their job and feels like that, but if it's really bothering you all the time you probably do have anxiety. It's horrible.

Thanks blondie I used to love my job as it was refuge from all the other shit but now it's my main source of anxiety. I was at park in sun today, pushing swing whilst running imaginary conversation with boss in my head. Ridiculous and not fair to DC.

Oh and how did you access the therapy?

Eugh. I was just like that. I'm not really anxious at all now tho (taken some time out to raise kids) but it will probably all flood back once I start again next year. I try not to think about it.

I just went to gp a few years ago. They changed my contraception pill to see if that would help and also gave a library book prescription to nhs recommended books that dealt with cbt. Some of the books were a bit but one was very good. Another thing it said was to have a little book of affirmations to pull out of your wallet (or I guess smart phone now) to read like a mantra to yourself.
I'm a great mother, my kids love me, wveyones got their own problems so people aren't thinking about me all the time, I'm good at baking, I'm organised. Etc etc. These things aren't relative to me but you get the gist.

Sounds crazy but if you tell yourself these things every day and don't allow yourself to indulge in negative thinking outside a specific time frame, it will help.

People don't care about things in the way you believe. And people aren't thinking about you constantly. What I mean is that you don't have to worry that you are being judged. I mean you don't think about other people like that do you? (I mean all of that nicely btw!!)

Can you take up running or weight training at home? This type of exercise can improve self esteem too.

And if you really hate your job, maybe try and get another one, or just switch to 'work version of keychange' as soon as you hang your coat up and focus on only work. Life's too short to be unhappy!!

It sounds like anxiety to me. But you sound like you're asking if it's just life to test whether there's any justification for you to feel this way. You don't have to live up to any standards in your head. It's ok to be anxious and overwhelmed sometimes. If it's bothering you this much, perhaps you may need to change something. Do you get much chance to exercise? You can do yoga videos for beginners on YouTube that can help with being more focused on the moment. Or there's counselling. Or medicine - it doesn't have to be prescribed. Even a good dose of women's vitamins might help, with magnesium and iron. And there's stuff like Kalms. That can make you feel better.

But honestly, it's ok to be anxious. It's really not your fault.

I'm exactly the same OP. It is anxiety and I have always suffered with it. I'm in a high pressure job and was critised at work last week over something fairly minor too and I've been obsessing about it ever since. I also feel like everyone's thinks I'm rubbish at my job and I'm going to get sacked. I've just restarted a medicine called sertraline that has been a massive help in the past so hopefully that will kick in soon. Please see your GP because you will find a treatment that works for you and when you're anxiety free you'll understand how ridiculous your anxious thoughts were! You don't have to live with anxiety - it is awful.

Thanks everyone.

blondie I worked at affirmations when my ex left me and it was helpful. I also spotted when the negative thoughts crept in and told that inner voice to fuck off. I need to start working at it again.

Hi dilberry tbh i wasn't sure if it would be ridiculous to raise it with a doctor. Hard to explain - like other people have real problems and I'm expecting too much from life. I think I would like counselling, maybe I should seek it privately. When I had pnd I was offered counselling via phone and that didn't appeal.

biscay I have exactly same obsessing over minor imperfections. I sent an email with 5 reports attached. On my day off I inadvertently looked at work phone to find a colleague had had to send out the 6th attachment. I didn't know it existed and couldn't have sent it - but I've been stewing about whether I should have known, how someone has had to rectify my error and how several people know I didn't send it and they'll think I'm incompetent. So all the good work I did last week is overshadowed by this completely ludicrous worrying. There's an example like that every week. I do think if someone told me I was doing a good job once in a while I'd dwell less - but I feel silly being so needy. Gah.

Sounds like a mix of anxiety and stress (from work and relationship break-down). Is there a lack of communication at work (thinking of report no6) that could be addressed, assuming you are up to doing it calmy? Thinking from a 'Really want to do the best job I can, but need the info' type route? I would second that yoga helps. There is probably quite a bit on Youtube re how-to. Relationship break ups leave you sad...but it does ease in time (cliche, but true). It's sad that you don't feel valued at work, but very common unfortunately. Can you build in little treats, where you pat yourself on the back when you've done a good job, or would that feel silly?!

It's definitely not ridiculous to raise with the doctor. You deserve to feel better.

Your post is resonating with me at the moment as I'm the same. At my last job there was this horrible nasty woman and when I started this one I was glad no one was like that. But they are really cliquey and take the piss out of each other. I have been worrying all weekend they will take the piss out of a new dress I bought. If one of them snaps at me a bit I get upset and try to spend the whole day overcompensating. I keep worrying what they think of me. It's really exhausting too. And my dp is getting annoyed by it too. In my cbt book there is an example of a man with his own business worrying about doing his job wrong and his client refusing to pay him and taking business away etc. In reality because he is worrying so much his work suffers and he loses sleep and therefore he can't do his job. So I think the point is that worrying can lead to the negative things happening when nothing bad had happened yet ifswim.