need help

[GreedyGecko]

i really can't cope. I just cry & cry & cry all day. Putting a front on to everyone I see. Surrounded by 'perfect' mums with 'perfect' children yeah right. I've only got one to del with while the others a school. Whats wrong with me? whu can't i just get on and do what ewveryone else does?

if you look at other messages, it may help to realise that you are not the only person who feels like this. it is hard being with kids.xx

you have taken the first step though by posting this thread

greedyG, you are so not the only one. have tou been to the GP?

you are NOT useless, you arent well. try to be kind to yourself.

thank you.

have just been looking at a couple of other threads.

just been on the phone to homestart too. I thought i'd been on the waiting list for the last 18mths. just found out though that the waiting list has been closed all that time & will reopen April 1st. Why didn't my HV tell me that? So now I need to call her & tell her that.

The Homestart lady was really nice though, I had a good cry on the phone to her (poor woman, but I expect she hears it several times a day!). She told me about a group I can go to that sounds really good in the short term.

Can't get through to GP. Going to make an appt to see her.

congratulation on making those phone calls. That must have taken real courage.

do something nice for yourself as treat for taking the first step

absolutely agree with amazinwoman. well bloodywell done to you for standing up for yourself... you deserve an extra treat for being so darned clever. bravo.

i am impressed, can you tell?

Thank You both. I don't feel courageous or clever.

I have since my last post made an appt for my gp but its not for 2 weeks & spoken to my HV, she's going to readmit my homestart application & she's coming to see me, that's not for 3 weeks, but I guess at least she knows now that I'm not doing OK.

I've just given ds2 a big huge kiss! I think it'll be nice to go to the group, see that there are real people out there who don't mind to admit that motherhood is often bloody hard work.

TBH I just want a tidy house. Doesn't everyone?!

well, youve made definate and positive steps towards getting the support you need, as a mother, as a human being... and no, i doubt you do feel courageous and clever, but you are nonetheless. and its precisely because you dont feel it, that i (with the benefit of distance) wanted to point it out to you.

so there.

I'd like a tidy house too. and a house that resembles an adult house, my coffee table has been set up as a police station (although it is tidy!)

but if i tidy up, it is lucky if it stays nice for 5 minutes so I have given up. Can you just keep one room tidy? one room in the house may be nice.

The tidiest room in the house is the boys bedroom

ds2 is a little cling-on, I can't move without him being a few inches away from me, and he leaves a trail of destruction wherever he goes.

He's just such a handful, demands 100% of my attention 100% of the time. I can't put him in his highchair while I do something as he will either wriggle about in it until he has the straps wrapped around his neck, or he will scream until he chokes.

Unfortunately the rooms in our house are all 'through' rooms, so no doors to keep LOs out . I miss that from our old house.

Sorry I'm waffling now, thanks for your support.

Just thought I'd update. Keeping myself really busy during the days so I'm not at home feeling sorry for myself. As long as I'm with people I'm fine. I've been to the group that the Homestart lady reccommended for me, and it was good. ds2 is looked after in the creche while I can sit and chat. The lady who runs it has given me a Surestart card, so now I can use their facilities & groups. (don't live in an SS area, so couldn't before). I've also invited a couple of mums from other groups to mine for drinks & play, which I would never normally do. I would usually be to shy or frightened of a knock back to make that first step.

Got GP tomorrow & HV next week. Maybe just making those appts was what I needed.