Coping techniques

[WAMP]

I'm really struggling at the moment and aside from a wonderful husband, I have no support. No family and no real friends. My husband is great but he is only human and struggles himself. I am falling apart and I don't know how to cope day to day. I've lost clarity of mind and can't think of any ways to get through the day with 3 boisterous children and a never ending mess. I know I should get everyone out of the house but I'm just so mentally and physically exhausted I can barely get out of bed. Can anyone offer some coping strategies?

How old are the kids?
Do you have a diagnosis? Any treatment ongoing?

They are 7, 5 and 2. I'm pretty sure I have depression and anxiety, so is my doctor who has given me meds which I haven't taken. I just don't see how I'll ever come off them if i start as it seems like I have a chemical imbalance rather than experiencing a traumatic event in my life, so it's not like I will ever get 'fixed' and meds will only put a temporary plaster over it. Does that make sense? I feel like perhaps if I could handle things better I would be OK. It seems like other people can visit family and friends to escape but that's not an option for me. I can't just talk through my battles, even minor ones like potty training, with anyone so everything builds up and I am jyst about having a break down.

If you had a physical condition like diabetes or Crohns, would you refuse the medication because it wouldn't "fix" you?

This is no different. I thought I should just be handling things better too, so I put off getting help until I was suicidal. If you have children you can't afford to let it go that far.

Yes you're right, I see what you're saying. I guess i feel like there is another way. If I could only sleep more, eat better, have a friend who cared, have someone to visit on a bad day, built up more mental resilience etc etc...then I'd get through it. I grew up with a mum with BP who didn't cope with anything well and a dad who was always at work so I never learnt how to handle stress or brush things off. I'm trying so hard to be a good mum who hides all of my problems so that my kids can have a carefree, innocent childhood, but I'm sure going wrong.

I had depression and anxiety. I was prescribed meds and REALLY didn't want to take them. Like you my depression wasn't a reaction to one thing.
I did take them. They helped me function and made me well enough to do CBT and develop other strategies. Then I slowly came off them. It is possible.
Perhaps if you take them you will sleep better, be able to eat better, feel well enough to get out and make friends.

I'm sure you're a great mum. It's obvious how much you care about your kids.

I found that once I was on ADs, and on the right dose, I was able to think more clearly and get back in control. I came off them last year with my GP's agreement but wouldn't hesitate to go back on if I needed to. If you can get CBT that helped me a lot too.

I can relate to how you are feeling. I have had depression and anxiety for years but would not take ADs for reasons similar to yours.
I saw my GP who recommended CBT - I had a 12 month wait and then started in Feb of this year. A couple of sessions in my therapist suggested ADs and I have truly found them to have helped restore part of me to how I was before the depression hit. I can now see a way forward and wish I had taken them earlier on.
I too have asked for help on MN and had some very helpful suggestions including mindfulness and meditation (there is lots of info online).
MN has been a lifeline for me - reading posts from others and the advice given has made me feel part of a friendship group that I don't really have in rl. There are always supportive listeners here to help and just being able to share takes some of the stress away.