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Really Low Right Now

8 replies

Rockhopper81 · 30/04/2017 02:13

I am aware I'm probably just moaning for the sake of it, but I feel really low tonight.

I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression mid-December and have been off work since January (basically I couldn't return after the Christmas/New Year holiday). I thought I was 'on the up' - I've been feeling a bit more positive lately, have been trying to come up with some 'plans', been working on my anxiety (I'm doing a course of CBT at the moment - I'm not sure it's helping all that much, but it's making me structure my anxiety exposure, even if they don't seem to want to tackle the depression?). I was looking to go back to work in about a month, basically when I'm getting out more reliably and everything doesn't feel like a total struggle.

Tonight, I just feel really low again. I feel right back at the beginning in terms of hating myself - I was having longer periods of time where I was more positive about 'me' - and feeling like I let people down constantly.

Is this normal, to have this sudden slide backwards? I'm panicking it's going to have an impact on my recovery and thus return to work - I've let them down enough already.

OP posts:
pudddy · 30/04/2017 12:50

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defnotadomesticgoddess · 30/04/2017 16:37

I think when you're actually in the middle of doing CBT it's quite hard work mentally, along with the normal fluctuations of mood that everyone has it hits you harder.

Be kind to yourself, it will pass. Keep doing little things each day that make you feel good i.e. going for a walk, watching something upbeat on tv. See how you feel in a few days.

You didn't say if you're on medication, if you are maybe that needs reviewing?

Keep looking after yourself it sounds like you've done a great job so far getting help and starting CBT.

pudddy · 30/04/2017 17:08

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DagenhamRoundhouse · 30/04/2017 18:33

What is DBT? I am horribly depressed at the moment. I loathe bank holidays which doesn't help! DH doesn't seem to understand or even care so I have nobody to talk to either.

pudddy · 30/04/2017 18:37

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DagenhamRoundhouse · 30/04/2017 19:39

Thanks for that, shall google it. I don't have a personality disorder to my knowledge, am just a sad cow!

Rockhopper81 · 01/05/2017 00:07

Thanks for your messages - I felt a little better today, but still like my self-esteem had taken a complete battering (I have low self-esteem anyway, but it's been even lower still since I've not been well).

I have been on Citalopram for about 14 months, although my current dosage is double what is was originally (20mg daily until December, now 40mg daily).

Hopefully it's just a rough weekend and things will be brighter next week. I guess I just don't want to derail my plans to return to work - my employer is being great, there's no pressure from them, but I feel guilty not being there. Maybe that's not helping, actually, worrying about not returning to work...

Thanks again, going to try for an earlier night tonight! Smile

OP posts:
chocolateworshipper · 01/05/2017 21:28

It's perfectly normal to have backwards steps. Hopefully this backward step doesn't take you back as low as you have been before, and the next backwards step doesn't take you as far back as this one.

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