feeling down/angry/anxious and it's my own fault

[Bleurghghghgh]

I'm on 30mg of citalopram. Have been for nearly a year. Thought I had a strip of both 20s and 10s when I was about to run out a week and a half ago. When I went to get them after I'd run out I realised I'd miscalculated. I then stupidly put off calling for a repeat because of anxiety at calling and now I've not taken anything for a week.

I've been feeling spinny and anxious all week but wasn't at work so was self medicating with enough booze to calm me down, drunk slowly throughout the day. Back at work today so no drinking but I've been so so antsy and angry all day. Now home and feeling crap. I'm picking up more meds tomorrow and will have to go through the horrible side effects as they take hold again but I just feel so down and stupid for doing this.

Pressed send too early but was basically going to say I'm not sure what I want to achieve from this thread, I just needed a rant.

I had a horrible tension headache an hour ago and I've not had a headache for about a year. It's eased off now thanks to ibuprofen but just feeling ugh.

I hope you feel better soon, I'm not on any medication but I do anxious about things, then put them off, more often than not until it's so late that I've fucked it up and caused more stress! I don't know why I do it, like paying bills, I wait until the last minute than end up paying them late, which then sends me into a spiral of panic! I just don't understand myself sometimes!

I do that, Buster! In fact I have now haha. I've chilled out a bit now and am just pleased I've finally sorted the meds out

Bills are the worse as if you pay online your suppose to give 48 hours for the payment to go through! Why don't I just pay when I get the bill? Like 28 days before it's due? I also put off anything to do with my health, I was diagnosed with Crohn's 2 years ago and now I cannot bear anything health related! I think the shock of it sent me in a spiral of anxiety in regards to intrusive procedures! You are not alone Bleur...I hope you feel better soon.