Been depressed for years. On medication.
Had a few attempts at Suicide, latest one was 3 years ago and I only just survived, when released from hospital (was in icu) had crisis team.
Since then my physical health has been poor and after it being blamed on mental health it was a relief when I do have a physical problem and not being told it's all in my head.
Anyway. Feeling shit. Suicude thoughts are constant. I've children and they are the only thing stopping me but I'm worried I'll do something stupid. I need help but not just crisis team or GP again.
How can I get myself admitted?
I've pushed everyone away from me and spend all my free time crying/thinking of ways to die/ researching suicude techniques.
Sounds silly but I don't want to see a health care professional because it will go in my notes and my pain will be put as psychological again and I've fought years to detach from that and be believed it's real.
I'm 25, want to die, chronically ill yet on the outside everyone sees me as a happy bubbly person.
Feel so guilty feeling like this
Sorry this is all rambling and don't know if it will make sense.
To sum up is there anyway I can be an inpatient on a ward until this passes? I don't trust myself not to do anything.