Stress? Or depression?

[wombat2]

I am reaching the end of a massive period of change in my life and today just feel incredibly grumpy and miserable, can't shake it off and wish my dds would go away and leave me alone... I'm worried that I just can't motivate myself to play with them enough and just need to have time to myself...

Here is the potted history!
a) several miscarriages
b) difficult pregnancy with dd1, she was in SCBU for a few weeks
c) dd2 born with severe learning disabilities
d) ex-h made redundant, became depressed and alcoholic.
e) he became regularly violent, which I lived with for 7 years in the hope he would get better. Now suffering hearing problems which I am told may be due to repeated blows to the head.
f) eventually I had to call police and pursue a prosecution to get out of the situation
g) had to sell our house as part of divorce, moved to a different area into rented accomm.
h) children both moved schools (one mainstream and one in special)
i) finally moved into my own house last week.

I work school hours. I should be pleased that I have a nice house in a nice area, I have a new partner and should be getting on with life. Just feel so worn down. Because it's a new area I don't have any local friends. And I just don't have any patience with the demands of my children, especially dd2 who being disabled can be very hard work - her latest habit is very loud, high-pitched screaming which is hard for me (and the neighbours) to live with! She will be 6 this year but has recently been judged to be at the level of about 12 months.

Sorry for wingeing and offloading. As my partner says, lots of people have it a lot worse. But do I have depression or just feeling understandably stressed??

not surprised you feel stressed! is it depression? well that depends how long it lasts i think. more than a few weeks and it might be a good idea to talk to gp, sooner if really not coping. as for others having it worse, well that is not very helpful and it doesn't take away how you feel. can you get anyone to take kids for a few hours so you can have peaCE? even an hour would help.

Whether it's stress or depression, sounds like you do need a break. I think we cd all do with a break from domestic responsibilities sometimes, andthat's without all the incredibly stressful things you've been through in the past few years. Do you have any family who could look after your DDs? Or does your DD's school have any info on respite care (if that's the right word - someone who's qualified to look after your SN child).

Do you think you just need a break, or are things more serious? If the latter, get to your GP for some help.

Hope you feel better soon

Thanks I feel a bit better now. I tend to get days where a 'black fog' descends, particularly when dd2 is very screamy. They don't tend to last for more than a day or two so hopefully this isn't really depression...

all the same, it's good to get some time out. i would go nuts if dm did not take ds for a few hours once a week! take care of yourself!

whatever your 'diagnosis' of yourself, you are only human and you do need breaks. and yes, some other people cope with worse, but im sure they all need breaks too!

i second nickytwotimes' on the 'take care of yourself'